| regarding some deleted poem... |
17-Dec-03/12:18 PM |
I like the connotations of "instilling" a belief in god into our children.
I won't castigate you for leaving out the "no God" path which would be a natural extension of lines 2 and 3 (could be accomplished by changing "And", to "Or".
The thing builds rather nicely, though its not as poetic as some of your others.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
18-Dec-03/8:44 PM |
you didn't know this facet of his glorious existance?
LoL - it's just one glittering side of a complicated cut.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
20-Dec-03/6:08 PM |
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Been some time since my last mushy love poem posting.
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| Re: I Love You by Blindpoetry |
20-Dec-03/6:53 PM |
I don't know, spence...
I doesn't say much more that what's said in the title alone.
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| Re: Mixed Feelings by PunkyPanda |
20-Dec-03/6:55 PM |
i'd like to see the sentiment without any attemps at making it rhyme.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
20-Dec-03/6:58 PM |
is interesting enough - particularly:
"the water of a chain linked son
the production of one cell to a billion
to none"
Needs to be about 70% this length (and complexity)
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| Re: 12673 Jalepeno ave. Chino, Ca. by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
20-Dec-03/7:04 PM |
Yep. It put me in the moment.
Somehow I found myself trying to think of a different last line. I don't know if it was me enjoying the aftertaste; imagining possibilities/extending the vision - or a hunger pain.
Did you try other ones?
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| Re: Live for Die for by firestorm998 |
27-Dec-03/9:58 PM |
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Certainly a nice idea - but the execution... Despite Richa's [everpresent] sour tone, I agree with him.
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| Re: Lenola prays with a stiletto by SupremeDreamer |
27-Dec-03/10:01 PM |
I liked "and well-thumbed rosary" but not the repeated noun. Same with stiletto.
I like the characterization lots, you know, that you gave her a name.
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| Re: We Are Still Friends by Blindpoetry |
27-Dec-03/10:02 PM |
yep. thats a pimple alright.
good ending.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
28-Dec-03/6:35 PM |
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Tweaked, thank you for your comments.
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| Re: I cant stand you by sk8rs_rule_all |
28-Dec-03/6:39 PM |
"You make me mad
when i should be glad."
"Just die aready,
i wont cry
i'll laugh.
I'll be glad,
and no longer mad!!!"
classic pimple.
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| Re: Add More Oil by heartlessempath |
28-Dec-03/6:43 PM |
I like this talk of a girl in water, with oil.
and I like the poem - I want to give it a nine.
so, I will.
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| Re: Beauty Sleep by Blindpoetry |
28-Dec-03/6:45 PM |
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| Re: Santaâs Journal 25thDec2003 by ShaNoN+960317485 |
29-Dec-03/4:55 AM |
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"quelling giggles" - nice
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| Re: The Beach by Evening |
29-Dec-03/5:03 AM |
Quite nice as is, but I kept wanting to reform it in my mind as I read - prolly cuz we haven't had one like it in a while.
lots of very common verbs, not sure if I like that (looked, turned, walked, watched) - dunno - i like it overall nonetheless.
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| Re: How to spend New Years in denial by Bachus |
31-Dec-03/10:29 PM |
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| Re: advice to innovators by (m)ee cummings by irishfolksuicide |
31-Dec-03/10:39 PM |
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She mite, then she mite not, though if she tried with all her mite, she mite - but only if she had the rite foresite to make it at the rite time in spite of [that other guy]'s rite to smite the mite, am I rite? Not quite.
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| Re: You tell me by Ariella |
31-Dec-03/10:43 PM |
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peppered with error - and it needs salt.
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| Re: Cornerstone by darkshark |
1-Jan-04/7:41 AM |
sounds like a real catch.
I like the refrain - you shall have a snowman (8)
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