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12673 Jalepeno ave. Chino, Ca. (Free verse) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
I drove by your old house yesterday. There was a young couple inside with a baby & people milling about smiling. I thought about how we used to hide in those junipers out front & play truth or dare as an excuse to get familiar with our bodies. I sat there across the street and finished up my cigarette An old man inside shot me a look Then abruptly closed the curtains. The house was smaller without you.

Up the ladder: White Candle
Down the ladder: A Sailors Bottle Message

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Weighted score: 5.119203
Overall Rank: 5687
Posted: July 6, 2003 12:15 PM PDT; Last modified: December 19, 2003 5:08 PM PST
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Comments:
[10] DreamerSupreme @ 204.31.182.8 | 6-Jul-03/1:10 PM | Reply
damn.. i cant say anything else.. 10.
[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.113.154 > DreamerSupreme | 6-Jul-03/9:06 PM | Reply
I'm flattered, thank you.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.168.51 > Jeremi B. Handrinos | 7-Jul-03/4:31 PM | Reply
Dont see why, but your welcome. ;)
[9] OneFingerAnswer @ 216.138.10.3 | 6-Jul-03/2:48 PM | Reply
I like this the best out of the series. Keep going by all means.
[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.113.154 > OneFingerAnswer | 6-Jul-03/9:07 PM | Reply
Thank you, I just may.
[9] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 20-Dec-03/7:04 PM | Reply
Yep. It put me in the moment.

Somehow I found myself trying to think of a different last line. I don't know if it was me enjoying the aftertaste; imagining possibilities/extending the vision - or a hunger pain.

Did you try other ones?
[9] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 > Shuushin | 20-Dec-03/8:04 PM | Reply
I think I've been there, it's not part of my "rounds" - any good?
[9] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 > Shuushin | 20-Dec-03/8:27 PM | Reply
Okay - what the hell, I'm a member. Just joined a contest.
[10] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.116.54 > Shuushin | 20-Dec-03/10:09 PM | Reply
Great, see you there. I'm getting a little tired of this place since I fucked my mom. Good luck on your contest. You'll find the competition there dreadfully retarded but eh.
[9] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 > <{Baba^Yaga}> | 21-Dec-03/5:54 AM | Reply
Well - as long as your mother stays...

;O)
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