Re: When feeling has been lost... by philn	23-Apr-04/7:02 PM
second stanza has some fresher language in it, but somehow its like spending a day with grandma and getting a half dollar on the way out.
Re: The How To on Haikus by <Wankster>	23-Apr-04/7:09 PM
I'm giving you a seven in the hopes that the 8 syllable line was intentional. Cuz, well - that would be funny.
regarding some deleted poem...	23-Apr-04/8:14 PM
omg - this is long. I'll need some time to digest this... a couple weeks should do it.
Re: Of Dreams and Obscurity by wilco	23-Apr-04/8:16 PM
I can't imagine anyone too tall to leap. How does that work?
Re: Humidity by Lifeboatman	23-Apr-04/8:18 PM
is there a missing word in the next to last line?
Re: Radiation Reflections by sarah	23-Apr-04/8:22 PM
I think your search for alliteration and rhyme put a slight, likely unintentional, comedic twist to the thing. It is difficult to take such a thing seriously when it rhymes too conveniently. The only examples I can think of involve war.
Re: Chronic Depression by Ice	23-Apr-04/8:24 PM
A good exercise - writing this stuff will help you to write the things people want to read.
Re: Deceiving by Ice	23-Apr-04/8:29 PM
I do like the idea of adding some sound effects, etc. - but not enough of it here to realize that idea. This is just so classic a pimple - the one word I come to is "endearing". But this subject has been so done. and done.
Re: jammin in the basement by xunitedx	23-Apr-04/8:31 PM
AABBCC... rhyming is maddening - it really is.
regarding some deleted poem...	23-Apr-04/8:32 PM
That last line made me think of Frost, and then I had a hard time thinking of anything else.
Re: Sold by Jeremi B. Handrinos	24-Apr-04/10:10 AM
Nice.
Re: Words that the Earth has to say… by nothingtoanyone	24-Apr-04/10:12 AM
"to[o] late"
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Apr-04/10:14 AM
A unfasionably tired sentiment extremely well said.
Re: untitled by minty	24-Apr-04/10:17 AM
Ack. Hey - not bad for a poem of this type; one of the better ones.
Re: You by Fire_is_cool	24-Apr-04/10:37 AM
Makes me wonder who begat pain and/of suffering if death begat this child described (or, as you say - you). Are your friends pain and suffering?
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Apr-04/3:16 PM
The daffodil line was a nice surprise. Seems you'll get a concensus regarding the ending.
Re: The Dead Sea by philn	24-Apr-04/3:18 PM
First two stanzas quite lovely and precisely made. The last does not work for me. I really hope you are able to bring it full circle somehow.
Re: Writing the Books by validus_vox	24-Apr-04/3:21 PM
Some line breaks might help this.
Re: He Hunts For Meaning by validus_vox	24-Apr-04/3:23 PM
A preamble. To what?
Re: Mental Escape by validus_vox	24-Apr-04/3:26 PM
So much text to wade through; lots of telling, no line breaks... Let the words do some of the work (give us both a break). I'm afraid I must too sound harsh.