Re: Everglades parkway by INTRANSIT	5-May-04/9:00 PM
This one is not as good as the other, imho - but still offers an interesting read. Some of the language seems heavier.
regarding some deleted poem...	5-May-04/9:02 PM
Yep. Caught me nappin'. Awake now. I thought those asterisks were stars - by the end I realized it was the money shot.
Re: When she beats me by Win	5-May-04/9:04 PM
Great title. Is that some forshadowing there at the end?
regarding some deleted poem...	5-May-04/9:08 PM
Bloody awful.
regarding some deleted poem...	6-May-04/7:13 PM
Smooth flow. That second line is very sweet. I'm put off a little by lowercase "i" the inconsistent apostophe usage.
Re: clay or mud (hertz donut version) by nentwined	6-May-04/7:16 PM
"yet" can go. Lots of twothree letter words in here... this could be very much distilled and made stronger, imho.
Re: Epitaph by philn	7-May-04/7:53 AM
Mechanically it's not to shabbily done, I'd say. The endrhymes weave without any noticeably intrusion. The meter chugs right along, slightly bumpy toward the end there - but serves to let the reader know the station approaches. I'd try to hack out some of the conjunctions, in particular but carefully since it would affect the good flow. Philosphically, I'm willing to accept it as a character perspective, one that although I personally don't quite relate to it, I can understand. Have an Eight. A few more poetic techniques would notch it up pretty easily, given the success of the mechanics used.
regarding some deleted poem...	7-May-04/10:22 AM
Ahhhh - sweetly done. THIS is the kind of stuff you do well. You have a gift, my friend - you have a gift.
regarding some deleted poem...	7-May-04/8:58 PM
I post this in celebration of my 100th Poemranker Poem. Thank you for putting up with my various ramblings.
Re: Trapped in a horseshoe by INTRANSIT	9-May-04/5:25 PM
Greets (been hard to get on-line this weekend)! This has a jaunty little beat, doesn't it. I'd be inclined to change a couple minor things here and there, but overall it's got a solid feel. Exlamations points might be overdone, and I'd just make that last line go right after the "she", and lastly the capital "And" is pretty jarring.
Re: forwards by nentwined	9-May-04/5:40 PM
Time is an illusion /echo An unusual thing from you, this. Feels pimply, I want to pick it to shreds.
regarding some deleted poem...	9-May-04/5:50 PM
Good poem if a little long. Raises an interesting topic. Prolly you could trim a fourth, anyway. Sorry I can't be more helpful with something more specific. I should prolly bag this for the night.
Re: Feasting Ouroboros by <~>	9-May-04/5:51 PM
Congrats.
Re: Loosed by <~>	9-May-04/5:51 PM
Congrats!
Re: Spring Cleaning by horus8	10-May-04/3:48 AM
Lemme guess - red? Excellent.
Re: Fighting before bed by zodiac	10-May-04/7:09 AM
Good one!
regarding some deleted poem...	10-May-04/12:32 PM
Well said. Adieu and Fare-well.
Re: In the berth by INTRANSIT	10-May-04/6:59 PM
For a minute - I was in my own cab. good un.
Re: Obituary for the Moon by wilco	10-May-04/6:59 PM
That would work. yep, yes it would.
regarding some deleted poem...	10-May-04/7:03 PM
I'd like to see a different word than warriors - but the piece in its entirety, it is quite poignant nonetheless.