regarding some deleted poem... |
16-Sep-03/6:59 PM |
I think you should change "stop" to go, and all of your "yous" to stop.
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Re: Manila by poetandknowit |
16-Sep-03/8:21 PM |
The End was a bit choppier for me than the rest, but I enjoyed it. 8.
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Re: naive gazer by richa |
16-Sep-03/10:52 PM |
That's a swell fever blister.
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Re: Cyber Junkie by J.B. Manning |
16-Sep-03/11:01 PM |
Yep, but pray tell? What if I sold my knees last week for twenty five quail eggs and an omellette named 'what was that whistle'?
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regarding some deleted poem... |
16-Sep-03/11:08 PM |
A fine piece. My only note would be, the part about the oak leaves. If you could change that tree and leaf to something more symbolic in nature of the Ocean than an Oak? You'd have a ten. 9.
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Re: reflexion - dayspring to dusk by DreamerSupreme |
17-Sep-03/11:44 AM |
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Re: Scorpion feet lucky rabbit by horus8 |
17-Sep-03/5:15 PM |
Ha ha ha whoever gave this a blue five is a lesbian vegetarian albanian cock ring of fire, and I didn't fall into.
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Re: reflexion - dayspring to dusk (second version) by Don-Quixote |
17-Sep-03/9:00 PM |
One of your best. Tight, compact, significant. I'm proud of you.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
17-Sep-03/9:03 PM |
If you lost the last line friend you would have a smoking gun, and I'd give you a ten instead of a nine.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
17-Sep-03/9:23 PM |
Quickbread, and well versed. you've hit a fine vein of ore. 10.
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Re: Simple Can (Relic) by Liver by Shardik |
21-Sep-03/9:51 AM |
I read this first thing this morning, and laughed hard has hell. Then, I thought, hey wait a minute... I wrote this? And LAUGHED EVEN HARDER.
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Re: emblem esoterica by DreamerSupreme |
21-Sep-03/9:52 AM |
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regarding some deleted poem... |
24-Sep-03/1:11 PM |
I liked it up until the point where i said "hey? I don't have a gap in my smile?!". then I became heated and jealous enough to go outside and piss in a garbage can. what if you called it "children of the cornhouse?"
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regarding some deleted poem... |
24-Sep-03/1:26 PM |
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regarding some deleted poem... |
24-Sep-03/1:30 PM |
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regarding some deleted poem... |
25-Sep-03/3:49 PM |
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regarding some deleted poem... |
25-Sep-03/3:53 PM |
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regarding some deleted poem... |
25-Sep-03/3:57 PM |
Bumble bee robot was a success! However, this poem is Parvo'd puppy shit twixt polio toes.
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Re: The Light by the_unknown_angel83 |
25-Sep-03/3:59 PM |
Sounds like a bad case of microwaved sodomy.
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Re: (fragment) by razorgrin |
25-Sep-03/11:17 PM |
God... I lost my load on tha... haaa 10 spheres until #2.
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