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reflexion - dayspring to dusk

Member since 2003 · Posted 16 Sep 2003 · 7 comments

you are dreamer, sleeping and walking across the sword long and keen, piercing the center of the stream, pullulating dampening the bloody rocks where silence lay. vibration triggering explosion illusion made real, visions blossom from flower. drinking hour, immersed in the waters of life but breath will not come about.

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7 comments

[0] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 17-Sep-03/9:08 AM Reply

I really enjoyed reading this poem!!!

[8] Bachus 17-Sep-03/11:44 AM Reply

Interestinely

[8] LuckyJoe 17-Sep-03/3:18 PM Reply

I enjoyed the poem. I think line one needs to be tweeked a little or what was the purpose of it? "you are dreamer" I almost didn't read on due to that being the first line. I just see my four year old neise saying that to me.

[8] nentwined › LuckyJoe 17-Sep-03/6:26 PM Reply

If your niece can understand the personification of 'dreamer', you should be proud.

[n/a] DreamerSupreme › LuckyJoe 18-Sep-03/9:57 AM Reply

well, other than it appearing like kiddie scrawl at the start, whats wrong with it? the label "dreamer" has MANY meanings behind it, and leads to other interesting things.

your four year old niece could say that, sure, but would her saying it serve a purpose in any piece of writing what-so-ever?

what would you suggest?

[8] nentwined 17-Sep-03/6:24 PM Reply

pullulating?

has a good tone/rhtyhm/feel. 8.

[n/a] DreamerSupreme › nentwined 18-Sep-03/10:01 AM Reply

pullulating - pullulate (verb)

1: Be teeming, be abuzz

2: Move in large numbers

3: Produce buds, branches, or germinate; of plants

4: Become abundant; increase rapidly

5: Breed freely and abundantly