| Re: The Devil & Me by Artemis745 |
3-Oct-03/3:27 PM |
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I flows smoothly, but there are a couple parts that I feel were...well that they were for lack of better words, basically. Like, "a God of thunder," I dunno...seemed like something you would write when you'er young.
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| Re: The man, the world by INTRANSIT |
3-Oct-03/3:45 PM |
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I think this is the best poem I've read on this yet to date. Honestly.
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| Re: Death by Artemis745 |
3-Oct-03/4:00 PM |
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"death" is only a he, because you make him one in your poem. Death is not the last thing, but the least thing.
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| Re: facku by J.B. Manning |
10-Oct-03/11:53 AM |
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| Re: The Ren (The magic in naming) by Bachus |
16-Oct-03/5:16 PM |
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you are obviously a fuck hole.
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| Re: paper fragments by skaskowski |
16-Oct-03/5:21 PM |
wow, I love this poem.
my heart is a pasted paper scrap on my glossy chest
--is a great line
litter the streets of an abandoned bedroom city.
--is the best line
-10-
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| Re: Spread Deep in Fresh Meat by abecedarian |
16-Oct-03/5:23 PM |
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| Re: does anyone have sleeping pills for me? by FreeFormFixation |
22-Oct-03/3:34 PM |
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Hmm, well, I think you could probably spend some time rolling this over in your mind to come up with a more creative way of expressing what you feel. The language is just very dry. I get what your saying, and you speak it clearly, but maybe that's your angle.
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| Re: untitled # 1 by noonewantstobealone |
27-Oct-03/10:02 AM |
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hmmm, seems a bit dry. The laughing at funerals part has potential, but yeah...it's a bit dry. Like toast without butter.
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| Re: The Gone-Too-Far Kitchen by ?-Dave_Mysterious-? |
27-Oct-03/10:06 AM |
You see, a backspace is eternally depressed,
Submerged deep in the sanguine depths,
Of illiterate logic,
A child's voice is heard nonetheless.
--nice, very nice. Actually Dave, your humor has, in the past, inspired me to not take things so seriously.
Good stuff.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
27-Oct-03/10:10 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
29-Oct-03/3:22 PM |
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somebody call the waaaaaaaaaaaaaambulance.
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| Re: I don't like fish by INTRANSIT |
7-Nov-03/2:11 PM |
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fish smells like fingers.
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| Re: Paper Bag Scenario by dragonfly |
7-Nov-03/2:16 PM |
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| Re: Marrowless highway by INTRANSIT |
7-Nov-03/2:24 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
7-Nov-03/2:29 PM |
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The only thing that seperates love and hate is indifference...which is plainly what I'm forced to feel right now...oh no...that's a yaaaaaaaaaaawn.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
11-Nov-03/11:20 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
14-Nov-03/11:14 AM |
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I can appreciate the sentiment, but Crystal, the lyric of this poem really comes off like something a high school student would write. Sorry to be harsh, but I think you have a habit of selling yourself short with infintile rhetoric.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
14-Nov-03/11:14 AM |
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| Re: Movie Stars And White Trash Weddings by scitz |
14-Nov-03/11:35 AM |
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I love it. I agree with Tranny. Marshmallow loses the fine wine flavor that permeates throughout the rest of the poem. Good one.
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