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untitled # 1 (Free verse) by noonewantstobealone You always kissed my neck
before you squeezed my hand.
That was when I would fall in love.
I always kissed your eyelids
before I spilled my secrets.
You were the only one to see it.
You saw beauty in ugly things
[ like me ]
and we laughed together at funerals.
We never told them, we never let them know,
the place we loved to go.
And when it hurts the most
[ and when I need to feel close]
I hide there.
And laugh.
Up the ladder:
Not Being Me
Down the ladder:
Pandemonium
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.6666667
Posted: October 26, 2003 7:35 PM PST; Last modified: October 26, 2003 7:35 PM PSTWeighted score: 4.6414113 Overall Rank: 12405 Comments:
hmmm, seems a bit dry. The laughing at funerals part has potential, but yeah...it's a bit dry. Like toast without butter.
I was totally feeling this poem until it ended with 'and laugh'. I suggest you pursue an ending that exploits that closeness with the other person.
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was this inspired by ur ran over dog Fido .
4.ioih