poemranker ::untitled # 1 by noonewantstobealone

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 72165

untitled # 1

Member since 2003 · Posted 26 Oct 2003 · 4 comments

You always kissed my neck before you squeezed my hand. That was when I would fall in love. I always kissed your eyelids before I spilled my secrets. You were the only one to see it. You saw beauty in ugly things [ like me ] and we laughed together at funerals. We never told them, we never let them know, the place we loved to go. And when it hurts the most [ and when I need to feel close] I hide there. And laugh.

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6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

4 comments

[4] baphomet 26-Oct-03/8:33 PM Reply
what a great poem
was this inspired by ur ran over dog Fido .
4.ioih
[4] J.B. Manning › baphomet 27-Oct-03/2:24 PM Reply
was it inspired by ur ran over dog fido? lol...
[4] J.B. Manning 27-Oct-03/10:02 AM Reply
hmmm, seems a bit dry. The laughing at funerals part has potential, but yeah...it's a bit dry. Like toast without butter.
[5] newdawnfades › J.B. Manning 27-Oct-03/4:19 PM Reply
I was totally feeling this poem until it ended with 'and laugh'. I suggest you pursue an ending that exploits that closeness with the other person.