Just one of those days. (7)

Well written, but I don't find the tin cans very intriguing. (8)

Depressing, California left a bad taste in my mouth. Everyone told me I went to the wrong parts. I think I just saw through it quicker than they did. I like the way you wrote this poem. I just wish it were about something else. Perhaps that is near to the inteded effect. (8)

I enjoyed your poem, and it held my interest. Not that I have a short attention span. I havn't owned a T.V. in eight years. With most poems, I read the first few lines and see no reason to finish. I think what they lack is a hook. Not like a hook in a Pop song, but the kind that makes you wonder whats next. I suppose it just boils down to creativity, weather it be what the poem is about or how it's told, there needs to be something unusual. Your poem was beautiful because it took me to a place I have not been. Thanks (10)

Simple, beautiful, a breath of fresh air. Almost mental music. (10)

When did you realize your potential for slandering droll?

Good words, and good art. I enjoy reading your work. It's serene. (10)

I enjoyed this. We all struggle with faith. Faith is a self imposed struggle by design. Often our final refuge is faith in ourselves, creating a conscience to trust. Sometimes we are teased by spots and smears that appear on the blank page. Spots that our minds create from staring too hard. Faith comes at discount prices in a combat zone. You strain harder for answers when you realize your life could easily be cut short. Somehow it cheapens the discoveries you make, but you can ill afford to ignore them here. As though I were treating an ill patient I do whatever is necessary to comfort myself. In the end I find myself retaining more and more objects of faith close to my heart. Your poem reminds me of the fear and the struggle that always remain no matter how much faith you retain. Thanks.

You use a lot of repetition in this poem, but I think the repetition is apropriate. War is suffering and corruption ad nauseum ad nauseum. I speak from experience. I think the world today is severely lacking in feminine influence, and we will all suffer until this imbalance is righted. So much is being wasted. It is not even clearly understood why we are fighting. I wish I were not here. I am probably losing my marbles. Thankyou.

Pure and well written. It seems like it should be negetive, yet it pleasantly reminds me of the mystery and facination between lovers. It made me homesick. Intimacy is very elusive when you are deployed overseas. Excellent, Thankyou.

A very emotional piece. I enjoyed the imagery. I didn't feel any pressure to "get the point". It seemed more despair than rage. Thankyou.

I never would have thought to write a poem about taking a leak, but you've started my gears turning. I found this poem very amusing.

Just swell.

The words "machine gun" stand out as imagery distinct from everything else in this poem.

Definately strikes a cord with me.

Excellent, but I don't think punctuation improves on haikus. Meaningful and thought provoking, friends are such rare and fragile things.

Remember that haiku idealy appeal to multiple senses. Smell, touch, taste, sight, sound.

You reminded me that a daisy chain isn't just a type of explosive device.

Try "The smell rises out of each petal." The repetition of "each" is an obstacle for the reader.

I think it might be more provokative, and better flowing to change "autumn's oncoming" to "autumn's coming".