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Eight thousand clay tiles (Free verse) by abecedarian
How could we have made eight thousand clay squares and triangles glazed black and white and fired each one arranged them in a tesselation of perfect dimensions and proper proportions? we attempted to create a Metamorphoses; an insect become fish but a week was not long enough - Cold Dead Stringy Man nearly took your soul. But you defied him with a cackle and we returned to the task of setting eight thousand clay tiles to music ten years later the mosaic and its memory found their way back to me Red paint partially obscures the image, but it is still intact this weekend I will clean it with a wire brush and try to find a way to find you and let you know that it is safe

Up the ladder: As It Is
Down the ladder: Give Me Some Time

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.3809524
Weighted score: 6.3561144
Overall Rank: 823
Posted: August 4, 2003 12:34 PM PDT; Last modified: August 4, 2003 3:02 PM PDT
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Comments:
[8] ecargo @ 64.252.82.78 | 4-Aug-03/4:12 PM | Reply
There's a lot to like here, but your strong central image is overwhelmed. The gist of it seems to be (and if you're annoyed by editing, then disregard):

We made eight thousand
clay squares and triangles
glazed black and white
and fired each one,

arranged a tesselation
of perfect dimensions
and proper proportions:

an attempted Metamorphoses,
an insect become a fish.

But a week was not long enough.

I returned to the task
ten years later.
Red paint obscures the image,
but it is still intact.

This weekend I will clean it with a wire brush
and try to find a way
to find you
and let you know that it is safe.

[10] <~> @ 64.252.48.242 | 4-Aug-03/4:15 PM | Reply
amen. nice work, alph-beta.
[9] http://mulberryfairy @ 216.195.145.66 | 4-Aug-03/6:37 PM | Reply
Nice ending. Hope you find the person.
[10] eliastemplar @ 216.147.132.2 | 26-Aug-03/9:43 AM | Reply
Good words, and good art. I enjoy reading your work. It's serene. (10)
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