Re: War Grave by Caducus	29-Sep-03/11:31 AM
I like your last 2 lines, especially. Nice job.
Re: Love doggerel by thavimatola	29-Sep-03/11:32 AM
Cute.
Re: Blissful the Fungae Forest by peaceseeker	6-Oct-03/8:54 AM
One of your best. I loved the title and the description of the leaf catching- my daughter says it is good luck to catch one in the air. You ought to submit to CBW.
Re: Orchidess by abecedarian	7-Oct-03/10:01 AM
Nice work. However, I saw a picture of a Catasetum that looked short and stocky, rather than smooth and slender. The smooth and slender/spiralling tendrils reminds me more of the ghost orchid in that movie, "Adaptation". What did the French "la Fleur" add to the poem?
Re: Primal Reality by peaceseeker	7-Oct-03/10:15 AM
I was confused at the beginning for a while about who was the cat and who the dog, and how the dog got back out (?) to flip the body of the headless squirrel around. I think you ought to describe the neighbor more than to just say "overweight" because that could mean so many different things and didn't provoke any mental image for me of what he/she looks like.
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Oct-03/6:29 PM
Is God wretching, or are those DNA strands? We should all be worried.
Re: Completely Psychotic by peaceseeker	10-Oct-03/6:36 PM
"blocked, he scatched my eye yanked on my hair" this section could be edited to say blocked,/ he scratched my eye/ yanked on my hair/ " because splitting up the verbs from the objects is confusing. Clean up that first line of typos, too. A little more description of him and the proximity he was to the narrator with his knife would make it easier to visualize.
regarding some deleted poem...	23-Oct-03/5:58 PM
You and "senescence"- that word always makes me think of a brand name for some facial cream for the aging. Sweet of you to care, but I was just out of town and busy, on a "business trip", if you will.
Re: Go On a Business Trip by abecedarian	23-Oct-03/6:01 PM
Nice little moral of the story there at the end, I know what you mean.
Re: Slayer Sucks by peaceseeker	23-Oct-03/6:06 PM
A social worker, even off the clock.
Re: African Killer Bees, it's not the smell of smoke by <{Baba^Yaga}>	23-Oct-03/6:10 PM
ouch
Re: Right side by <~>	23-Oct-03/8:32 PM
Nice images. Winter will soothe the insomnia. I love the seasons in your work.
Re: Backyard by <~>	23-Oct-03/8:34 PM
Again, the seasons in your secret garden.
Re: rainfall saga 7 by Bill Z Bub	23-Oct-03/8:39 PM
I imagine this series as an oral performance, and though I don't get it all, I appreciate it. The "recent" lineup here is full of weather poems tonight.
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Oct-03/5:38 PM
Beautiful. Reminds me of the ghosts of slavery, with the bowing attendant trees and the antique quality of the house/gown.
Re: First Time In A Long Time by EAger to Offend	24-Oct-03/5:43 PM
Quite witty and well done. Maybe there should be a surgeon general's warning on the packages of guitar strings?
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Oct-03/5:47 PM
Great ending there with the last 2 stanzas. The similies in almost every stanza were a little too frequent/repetitive for me, but nothing that the removal of a "like" here or there couldn't fix.
Re: Nathan - under the sun by SupremeDreamer	24-Oct-03/5:54 PM
Typo in the stanza before last (glimpsed) and peaceful's spelled wrong- unless that was a play on the word full (since his body was emptied of blood). Anyway, I think the rhyme makes this sound like one of your parody pieces, though the words aren't inappropriate or too cliche. You know you can improve this.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Oct-03/11:13 AM
maybe it is one of the few large group rituals our culture has intact? I know what you mean by "equally golden brass", but it is a contradiction. Did you mean to misspell ridiculous because of Nazi red? Good, but a bit preachy, is it not?
Re: comment-ary by nentwined	27-Oct-03/11:14 AM
righteous