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African Killer Bees, it's not the smell of smoke (Free verse) by <{Baba^Yaga}>
By mid summer the bees had arrived A wonderful detour ant above the gas meter Not that natural gas is expensive But that's the asshole that always catches Me jerking off in front of my computer Window by the side yard's fanlight. My Jewish neighbours swear that they're Africans, And literally fear for their red haired safety. I told them if that were the case we'd be rich, And their kids would be dead, but I don't Think they caught the punch line, or remembered What was worth promising them the land.

Up the ladder: 3am

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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10  .. 41
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.0833335
Weighted score: 6.523039
Overall Rank: 671
Posted: October 21, 2003 10:53 PM PDT; Last modified: October 21, 2003 10:53 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] god'swife @ 67.73.32.141 | 21-Oct-03/10:58 PM | Reply
A ten, blue.
[n/a] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154 > god'swife | 21-Oct-03/11:11 PM | Reply
I often can't remember the name of the blue otter pop?
Do you by chance?
[9] INTRANSIT @ 205.188.209.41 > <{Baba^Yaga}> | 22-Oct-03/9:21 AM | Reply
Louie Bloo Raspberry. I'm such a child. Keeps me in line.
[n/a] god'swife @ 67.73.18.93 > <{Baba^Yaga}> | 22-Oct-03/10:13 AM | Reply
Sir Issac Lime
Alexander The Grape
Little Orphan Orange
Poncho Punch
Strawberry Shortkook
Louie Bloo Raspberry.
[0] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.8.101 | 22-Oct-03/6:55 AM | Reply
[X] Arbitrary line breaks
[X] Devoid of rhyme
[X] Devoid of other linguistic embellishments (alliteration, etc)
[X] Devoid of other literary devices (metaphor, synaesthesia, etc)
[X] Devoid of wondrous or fantastical imagery

This isn't a poeme; it's another prose with arbitrary line breaks special.
[n/a] god'swife @ 67.73.18.93 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 22-Oct-03/10:14 AM | Reply
what would you like to drink with that?
[0] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.8.97 > god'swife | 22-Oct-03/10:29 AM | Reply
A hand shandy if you please.
[n/a] god'swife @ 67.73.18.18 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 22-Oct-03/10:40 AM | Reply
Regular or extra creamy?
[0] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.8.97 > god'swife | 22-Oct-03/10:42 AM | Reply
As long you stick a parasol in it I don't care.
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 22-Oct-03/10:32 AM | Reply
Now it has something in common with your legs.
[0] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.8.97 > horus8 | 22-Oct-03/10:35 AM | Reply
What? That people stare at it in horror? That it's completely useless for doing anything? Or that you have to bathe it daily in a pungent solution of your own mucus and undertaker's jerky?
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 22-Oct-03/10:41 AM | Reply
Yes, yes, yes, and YES! That's what I enjoy about you! Your sobriety keeps you very aware.
[8] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 163.1.234.221 | 22-Oct-03/3:55 PM | Reply
There seem to be a dispropotionate number of poems about bees on this site. I can't complain, I am guilty of it myself. See "Deceit."
[9] http://mulberryfairy @ 216.195.144.174 | 23-Oct-03/6:10 PM | Reply
ouch
[n/a] Geschäftsreise @ 4.40.32.229 | 23-Oct-03/6:33 PM | Reply
The poem was interesting, but the dialogue in the comments wins a medal
388 view(s)




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