poemranker ::Backyard by <~>

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Free verse № 71785

Backyard

by <~>

Member since 2002 · Posted 23 Oct 2003 · 8 comments

Late September's new grass sprouts on either side of the new-laid fieldstone path that winds, sinuous, to a bench of weather-worn oak and iron, secluded beneath the berry tree out back, in a private garden that looks out on the marsh bathed in slanting sunlight at autumnal eqinox.

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mean 9.60 weighted 5.55 rank 2480 views 272 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

8 comments

[10] http://mulberryfairy 23-Oct-03/8:34 PM Reply
Again, the seasons in your secret garden.
[9] kingit 23-Oct-03/9:55 PM Reply
A painting.
[n/a] abecedarian 24-Oct-03/12:01 AM Reply
Few things with a more solid aura than weather worn oak and iron.
[n/a] richa 24-Oct-03/12:52 AM Reply
Quite difficult to follow,

I thought mid sentence line breaks only worked when it sets up an expectation, this does not really do that.

It is quite soothing but I think the line breaks interrupt the feeling.
[n/a] EAger to Offend 24-Oct-03/6:14 AM Reply
Descriptive and fairly technical, yet somehow bland. Like a Rococo painting.
[n/a] <~> › EAger to Offend 24-Oct-03/6:32 AM Reply
yes. it was a workshop exercise. less than i wanted, but filled the requirement. difficult to write, because of the restrictions.
[n/a] ARTIE 24-Oct-03/1:20 PM Reply
I have but to gaze upon my own backyard here. Nice vision. 10
[9] sliver 18-Nov-03/8:16 PM Reply
Is this the conclusion to unmending the wall? The picturesque yard.