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Backyard (Free verse) by <~> Late September's new grass
sprouts on either side of the
new-laid fieldstone path that
winds, sinuous, to a bench
of weather-worn oak and iron,
secluded beneath the berry tree
out back, in a private garden
that looks out on the marsh
bathed in slanting sunlight
at autumnal eqinox.
Up the ladder:
Timmy
Down the ladder:
final act
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 9.6
Posted: October 23, 2003 6:29 PM PDT; Last modified: October 23, 2003 6:29 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.5483336 Overall Rank: 2484 Comments:
[10]
http://mulberryfairy @ 216.195.144.174
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23-Oct-03/8:34 PM
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Reply
Again, the seasons in your secret garden.
A painting.
Few things with a more solid aura than weather worn oak and iron.
Quite difficult to follow,
I thought mid sentence line breaks only worked when it sets up an expectation, this does not really do that. It is quite soothing but I think the line breaks interrupt the feeling.
Descriptive and fairly technical, yet somehow bland. Like a Rococo painting.
yes. it was a workshop exercise. less than i wanted, but filled the requirement. difficult to write, because of the restrictions.
I have but to gaze upon my own backyard here. Nice vision. 10
Is this the conclusion to unmending the wall? The picturesque yard.
272 view(s)
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