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Timmy (Lyric) by richa The grave digger does not talk, but
digs his small part of the churchyard.
Like a trapped mole, he re-turns sods
spade in hand and art growing sharper
as the sounds not fitting to music
filter out, like peel down a plughole.
The grave digger does not talk, but
digs his small part of the churchyard.
Like a trapped mole.
Up the ladder:
Backyard
Down the ladder:
final act
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 9.6
Posted: March 2, 2004 5:16 AM PST; Last modified: March 2, 2004 7:07 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.5483336 Overall Rank: 2483 The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:
Comments:
Really the only part of this I don't like is the name Timmy. You'll have to excuse me if that's your name - but I don't believe you, since I don't believe anyone is really called Timmy. It's just a name we made up because it sounds like a typical innocent little boy's name. And it reminds me of that Mr Wizard spoof (on 'Dinosaurs'?) where Mr Wizard keeps saying 'We're going to need another Timmy!' every time Timmy gets his head incinerated by a jet engine or something. I'd be much more interested if his name were Larry, Lester, Jubel, or almost anything else. Or just 'Dead Child'.
That, and I think 'digs his OWN small part' has a better rhythm. Maybe. I'm not sure on that one. Try it out. And leave the off the periods after churchyard - at least after the second one. Great poem, by the way.
A very haunting quality. I thought the last line should have just a bit more - but that's just me. Excellent read otherwise.
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I like the cadence of this very much - for me it's the subtle rhyme with talk/part, which was worth repeating.
But what is it with Tims and holes?
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