Timmy

Member since 2002 · Posted 2 Mar 2004 · Edited 2 Mar 2004 · 3 comments

The grave digger does not talk, but digs his small part of the churchyard. Like a trapped mole, he re-turns sods spade in hand and art growing sharper as the sounds not fitting to music filter out, like peel down a plughole. The grave digger does not talk, but digs his small part of the churchyard. Like a trapped mole.

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5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

A favorite of zodiac.

3 comments

[10] Shuushin 2-Mar-04/10:18 AM Reply

sod[s]?

I like the cadence of this very much - for me it's the subtle rhyme with talk/part, which was worth repeating.

But what is it with Tims and holes?

http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=79557

[10] zodiac 2-Mar-04/10:38 AM Reply

Really the only part of this I don't like is the name Timmy. You'll have to excuse me if that's your name - but I don't believe you, since I don't believe anyone is really called Timmy. It's just a name we made up because it sounds like a typical innocent little boy's name. And it reminds me of that Mr Wizard spoof (on 'Dinosaurs'?) where Mr Wizard keeps saying 'We're going to need another Timmy!' every time Timmy gets his head incinerated by a jet engine or something. I'd be much more interested if his name were Larry, Lester, Jubel, or almost anything else. Or just 'Dead Child'.

That, and I think 'digs his OWN small part' has a better rhythm. Maybe. I'm not sure on that one. Try it out.

And leave the off the periods after churchyard - at least after the second one. Great poem, by the way.

[9] fair12 3-Mar-04/9:38 AM Reply

A very haunting quality. I thought the last line should have just a bit more - but that's just me. Excellent read otherwise.