zodiac2 Mar 2004

Really the only part of this I don't like is the name Timmy. You'll have to excuse me if that's your name - but I don't believe you, since I don't believe anyone is really called Timmy. It's just a name we made up because it sounds like a typical innocent little boy's name. And it reminds me of that Mr Wizard spoof (on 'Dinosaurs'?) where Mr Wizard keeps saying 'We're going to need another Timmy!' every time Timmy gets his head incinerated by a jet engine or something. I'd be much more interested if his name were Larry, Lester, Jubel, or almost anything else. Or just 'Dead Child'.

That, and I think 'digs his OWN small part' has a better rhythm. Maybe. I'm not sure on that one. Try it out.

And leave the off the periods after churchyard - at least after the second one. Great poem, by the way.