Re: Healing by hobojo |
27-Feb-09/5:56 AM |
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Re: Prelude to Infidelity (edited) by Caducus |
27-Feb-09/5:57 AM |
just doesn't work for me; awkward from line to line, s to s. weird, overall, and I like that, but ... eh.
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Re: Spuna Vs. Turkeef by <{Baba^Yaga}> |
27-Feb-09/5:58 AM |
wtf? :)
funny.
you got funny.
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Re: One More, Then We Go by jessicazee |
27-Feb-09/5:58 AM |
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Re: To my Moneta by Bill Z Bub |
27-Feb-09/5:59 AM |
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Re: Graveyard(Cry of the Dead) by alvinb |
27-Feb-09/5:59 AM |
no.
no, no, no.
no.
This is the poetry you have to write and you also have to show nobody ever.
well, except us, because we like to yell.
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Re: the rugby cheer by malpaso |
27-Feb-09/6:00 AM |
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Re: prove me wrong by nentwined |
5-Mar-09/9:36 PM |
almost titled it "a moment's whine", but that seemed too easy. Almost binned it, but that's what the ranker's for, right? ;)
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Re: Fewer And Further In Between by Sigh'ense... |
5-Mar-09/9:38 PM |
I'll admit, I don't have a clue what you're doing with this. 1*?
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Re: Disillusioned & Confused by Sigh'ense... |
5-Mar-09/9:40 PM |
angsty and doesn't scan well.
nit: "to many just" -> "too many just" (I think?)
I really like "the fetus of innocence is devoured by hypocritical jackals". I could do with that metaphor being developed further throughout. As it is, things feel scattershot. I'm not too into collage, visually or poetically.
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Re: Gladly For Love by sliver |
5-Mar-09/9:43 PM |
forget about me. make your own tomorrow ;)
the desire you feel is probably better in your head than on paper (or consummated in other ways).
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Re: 9 Things to Eat for Breakfast & Why by A. Nomaly |
5-Mar-09/9:44 PM |
I read that as "51 lbs" black licorice and thought you really needed to lay off the meth. The rest... hmm. Doesn't really do anything for me.
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Re: The Project by malpaso |
5-Mar-09/9:46 PM |
I think I need the same drugs as you to feel this right. Still, better than a lot of crap that gets nailed to the wall.
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Re: the end of the world, c'est soir by Bill Z Bub |
5-Mar-09/9:48 PM |
hah, that's great. well, I mean, not Great, but I like what you did, sir, I do. I like what you did with that, and did not see it coming. Half-way through I was going to comment that I've written stuff far too similar to this (as part of a longer short-story), but I like what you did. :)
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Re: 2am and sober in the digital age by nentwined |
5-Mar-09/9:49 PM |
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Re: harvest moon by Caducus |
5-Mar-09/9:53 PM |
"gnawed to origin and silica"? no grok.
I want more punctuation (elders' wrists? or?)
You've got some good stuff inter-woven, and I even see the thread--the thread seems solid; but I think you need to work on your stitching? a 7, but I think it could be a 9 or a 10.
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Re: Dream Samurai by Lifeboatman |
5-Mar-09/9:54 PM |
huh?
Hmm. Makes more sense when I notice the title--but I'm still lost with a plastic blue pipe.
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Re: Ode to the Potato by jessicazee |
5-Mar-09/9:55 PM |
If I was hungry to begin with, I was not by the middle of the first stanza... (and, okay, I wasn't quite hungry, but I _had_ been considering dessert).
Second stanza has more promise, imo.
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Re: for the slaves and the seekers by Bill Z Bub |
5-Mar-09/10:15 PM |
hmm.
hmm hmm hmm.
hmm.
and no, that's not supposed to mean any more than it says ;)
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Re: Fake, Emo and Over Shaven by Blindpoetry |
5-Mar-09/10:16 PM |
"soothe" your emotions, unless you truly mean sooth--which would mean to imply you're prognosticating, some. tracking biorhythms?
You've lost me with "diplome" though.
Doesn't quite hang together. But I appreciate what you're doing.
Shouldn't it be a pimple, though?
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