Re: a comment on solitorus by glittalogik	28-Dec-02/12:00 AM
okay, but make it tight enough to feel deliberately unfinished
Re: im playing basketball by rockinindividual	27-Dec-02/11:58 PM
i would like to see more basketball argot in this poem. i want you to name sports stuff, and with each slamdunk, or 3pointshot, or whatever--you erase a little bit more of the weight of the anger. balance the scales of action and reaction. you dig?
Re: solitorus by glittalogik	27-Dec-02/11:54 PM
freshly said, but feels unfinished
Re: broken nail by blackball	27-Dec-02/11:52 PM
what does the primal clawing have to do with the street lamp's light? can you please make a nice neat package out of this one?
Re: frontage by xanthippe	27-Dec-02/11:50 PM
give me something i can hold on to
Re: plain by blackball	27-Dec-02/11:39 PM
L1 &L2--you don't need both 'by myself' and 'solitary'. L4: change to 'as days fluttered past' i believe that's what p&k and h8 are suggesting, and i agree.
Re: your voice soothes me in the dark by rockinindividual	26-Dec-02/8:46 PM
awww...
Re: Phillip by w~* ATHENA *~w	26-Dec-02/8:35 PM
Artist: Kendra Smith Album: Five Ways of Disappearing Song: Valley of the morning sunhttp://www.lyrics.jp/lyrics/K000700010009.asp
Re: a comment on Brackish by <~>	26-Dec-02/12:32 PM
re S3: lacy crunch of pocked dirt brittle underfoot all inversion: brittle crunch, lacy pocked dirt, but so obvious to word them that way.
Re: Things by Quarton	26-Dec-02/12:24 PM
i'm on the fence here, because i believe in what you are saying, but i don't know that it work in this form. i believe that animals are sentient, and suffer. i believe that factory farming dehumanizes us, as much as it disregards the value of life. i see the yellow-crated chicken trucks going by, full and unsheltered at 75 mph in this cold, and i realize that this is not considered unkind. i look around a little--do some reading, and i become a vegetarian for a few years. i lapse, and justify it as 'acknowledging that i am part of the food chain.' and i used to be against hunting. now, i feel like it's the most humane way to get meat. i just don't like to think about it. no one does. but there must be a way to be what i am without contributing to the suffering. please tell me there is. there is, isn't there?
Re: a comment on Brackish by <~>	26-Dec-02/12:15 PM
dammit. i had that in my draft and for got to change it. yeah. my wall poem led toward home. WTF? i'm not feeling like i have a home these days. all my happy, satisfied poem-protagonists are wishful thinking. see, i'm getting geared up for the new year--worst night of the year. best place to spend it is in the bath. bah humbug. thanks for the suggestion. i changed it to how it should be. please vote again.
Re: a comment on Brackish by <~>	26-Dec-02/8:21 AM
you can see things without realizing you are seeing them--you see what you expect to see. how many people see the color of the light? they see 'light'--generic. look into apartment windows at night sometime--you'll see warm--yellow--incandesant, blue--cold--fluorescent, and white--neutral--halogen--all next to each other. ot's this kind of distinction i am pointing out. i will rework with your other suggestions. i needed pruning help here. thanks mangk.
Re: Garden of confusion by Sugarbbybuttrfly	24-Dec-02/6:58 PM
good thing he didn't take your womb too. then you'd be in serious shit.
Re: Waiting by Sugarbbybuttrfly	24-Dec-02/6:56 PM
typos tiepoes ti-poas
Re: Wrong by Sugarbbybuttrfly	24-Dec-02/6:56 PM
you have a yeast infection, and PMS. see your local chemist for some OTC relief. everyone will thank you.
Re: For Horus by INTRANSIT	24-Dec-02/6:53 PM
i've got this terrible feeling of deja vu... well done, mockingbird.
Re: a comment on Little Johnie's Jihad by <{Baba^Yaga}>	24-Dec-02/6:44 PM
yeah, i'd love to. send it to me. as for slots--i stay away from that den of iniquity...at least i have so far today.
Re: a comment on guitar music and lies by w~* ATHENA *~w	24-Dec-02/6:42 PM
good thing you're quick. ouch.
Re: a comment on guitar music and lies by w~* ATHENA *~w	24-Dec-02/5:42 PM
can't find this one. not yet, anyway. tick tick tick
Re: Little Johnie's Jihad by <{Baba^Yaga}>	24-Dec-02/5:35 PM
and joe strummer's dead, so there's no more rockin' the casbah. fuckit. merry jihad, h. xo, z