Re: a comment on AIDS in a van by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	11-Mar-03/2:12 PM
oh dear. i haven't been 'all the rage' for quite some time now. mrs.g's had center stage for a longish while. but i thank you for pointing out my middle agE (ugh). how old are you, then? are you above my 28yr cut off? you boys have learnt some neat tricks by then, mostly.
Re: a comment on AIDS in a van by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	11-Mar-03/8:07 AM
Jesu would be very sad, if he listened to your prayers at all! Leviticus is old school; Jesu liked to stir it up. He hung with whores and blue-collar (rather, no-collar!!!1111) types, remember? He taught the same to his buds: "I know and am convinced in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but to him who thinks anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean." --Romans 14:14 also, the big guy himself spoke to Peter: "What God has cleansed, no longer consider unholy." --Acts 10:14 thank YOU, and Jesu bless!
Re: a comment on AIDS in a van by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	11-Mar-03/8:03 AM
and you do not find this to be "crass crude tasteless & politically incorrect as possible (& subsequently funny)"? not only do you have "no formal education in poetry," you also have no grasp on reality!
Re: Departing by scornofangels	11-Mar-03/7:39 AM
why is the language in this so arcane? the poem would be much more accessible if it were more vernacular, or, if you were trying to make it sound like a classic Romantic poem, if you stayed with formal usage. I suspect you got the zero becuse you didn't make up your mind. i won't vote until it's finished. if this is finished, i'll not vote.
Re: a comment on Three Pennies of Garbage by babyBOOMER	11-Mar-03/7:37 AM
tsk! don't write when drunk! how many times do you admonish me with this one? besides you gave kevin away to that adulteress--so you deserve what you get! HA!
Re: The lightest touch by INTRANSIT	11-Mar-03/7:26 AM
"Wispy swirling white." very nice sounds, here. nice, the repeat for closure as well.
Re: a comment on On coming across a field of deer one afternoon (2) by <~>	11-Mar-03/7:07 AM
'sprung' is an adjective here. not a verb. same as 'whirling' and 'muscled' (as--to force one's way) are above. the items after the colons are lists, not sentences. i take some liberties, because i know i am taking them. :p
Re: The lightest touch by INTRANSIT	11-Mar-03/7:05 AM
Wispy swirling white. Flashing ruby fright. Spinning,(ins. comma) sliding away (delete the period) as more and more (eh. 'more and more' is so generic. you can say it better) enter the fray. Many pass(del. 'on) in the night. (what are you trying to say--they ignore someone stranded?) (delete 'in)Wispy and swirling white.
Re: Waiting to exit by INTRANSIT	11-Mar-03/6:40 AM
what is the box? why do you keep calling it a box? is it an icecube?
Re: this old man (edit) by Bill Z Bub	9-Mar-03/5:21 PM
hello mr bub, some comments on yer pome: "surreptitiously. " too long/bland/erudite a word for this poem. it doesn't fit the gist of it. you're all about the things the simple and the simply arrogant want hhere--and besides, they are obvious in their avoidance, are they not? so why the word, bub? it confuses the issue. "prideful gnarled knuckles at the line-walkers passing above*,* snatch*es* the black woolen cap from his lap. " i know you're all about the grammar, so i thought i'd throw that at you. that being said, i like this very much. but your ending makes him a plant and not a man; by steailing his mobility, you steal his humanity. if by 'barrel' you mean to infer his thirst for the 80 proof, it does not work here.. ta, z
Re: a comment on i won't by elizabethann	9-Mar-03/5:11 PM
i take a brief sabbatical to attend to business, and this is how you repay me? you may have fooled ol' darcus--i know you have mucus to spare, right alongside all those lovely canned tetes i gave you for yer berthday last summer--wheelie d is just jealous because i spurned him one too many times, and now i see you chasing this little tightie? for shame, speedy d! for shame. xo, z
Re: Keanu Vs The mystery of life by Shardik	7-Mar-03/2:03 PM
you can do better, though.
Re: Keanu Vs The mystery of life by Shardik	7-Mar-03/1:53 PM
spin it.
Re: a comment on First Confirmation by babyBOOMER	7-Mar-03/1:52 PM
speaking of hos, i wrote a poem for you, molasses. slurp.
Re: Aries, the God of war by Shardik	7-Mar-03/10:52 AM
it would be-HOOVE mr foster to familiarize himself with your oeuvre, as posted on this site (see: plains of africa) as well as the 3rd deinition of the poet's perk: coin * age n. 1. The right or process of making coins. 2. - Metal currency. - A system of metal currency. 3. - A new word or phrase. - The invention of new words.
Re: Blustered by INTRANSIT	7-Mar-03/8:04 AM
"inevitable" leaves me hanging, sir! completion, svp!
Re: a comment on Dolly was a damn fine lamb by <{Baba^Yaga}>	7-Mar-03/7:54 AM
SHE'S DEAD, JIM
Re: a comment on First Confirmation by babyBOOMER	7-Mar-03/7:25 AM
stop playing with your pocket rocket and turn off the all caps. screamer.
Re: Anatomy by Jimbo	7-Mar-03/7:14 AM
the first 4 stanzas grab me. you need a 5th to complete the structure here: take my hands (or skin, although touch is usually associated immediately with hands) ... also, i respectfully suggest that your eyes have *not* failed you--they have taken it all in, and more. maybe your legs failed you--bringing you to where you could partake in these visions? maybe your legs failed you by not bearing you away? your final stanza is weakest. if you'd like some suggestions for reworking the last, i'll gladly send them along. z
Re: To Lesley by Bahookie	7-Mar-03/7:06 AM
that's it? a little ritual scarring, and you just walk away? WTF?