Re: The invisible man by Hostileintent	14-Aug-03/7:27 PM
1. tell me how old you are 2. tell me what your endgame is 3. tell me how far you want me to go. z
Re: drought on talkin river by richa	14-Aug-03/6:45 PM
much much more than youusually give us! smart. 2 quibbles: 1. tarns have mouths? since when? rivers do--not lakes. 2. comma at the end of L5, since the phrase's purpose is to modify. nice work. no vote yet.
Re: a comment on On waiting to pick up my daughter on Tuesday by poetandknowit	6-Aug-03/12:31 PM
pig, just because it's got the votes doesn't make it good. witness the "president" of my country. lots of people vote, pig. votes can be bought. vote can be slung in spite. quite a few people here use their multiple id's to vote people down the list. i've done it. it all depends on who you piss off, and who likes their ass licked. i'm not trashing your writing or anyne else's, here. blooding is one of the best i've seen. but 15 of the top 20 don't deserve their slots, imho. and that includes 5 of my six. like likes like. worry about improving your writing, not about where you are in the list. when p&k was active, nobody could touch him. he pulled all his babbit poems--maybe that was before you were on board. those were beyond good.
Re: a comment on all american machine by nolan	6-Aug-03/7:34 AM
is there anyone in the woprld who doesn't think that pony-boy george is saving the big guns for november? for the elections? because from where i sit, he's not got a chance to make it back into the oval office. first, that nepotistic hand job that slid him into the big chair, second, despite what the media portray, most of us over here never wanted this fucking hostility to begin with. it's a disgrace the way he's big-ballsing his way across the planet.
Re: a comment on The Longest Wait (Revised) by Caducus	5-Aug-03/9:38 PM
nix nix. but you are right about one thing: the need for precise images. the rest, pppphhhhhhhtt! (and a vision/that was planted in my brain...)
Re: a comment on The Longest Wait (Revised) by Caducus	5-Aug-03/9:34 PM
but seriously, now. there is more than one way to die, p&k. "It is not like they just kick you out and bring in a new patient.' >>they did ask us to leave when my grandmother died. and they did bring in someone new, before we were out of the waiting room. "Everyone knows that the monitor is long gone in the situation you are talking about" >>they left the monitor on for grandma. i had to pull the cord to shut it off, because my aunt was pounding it. she could not find the switch. and the flat beep was making her hysterical. "so most likely the only way you would know someone dead is by the breathing and that is even tough," >>it was very tough to tell by the breathing. her last six hours, we thought she was gone, but there was a slow blip. she had cancers; she had an aneurysm about 6 months into fading, and went in one night. she did wait for my cousin to get there, who had to wait to catch a train from grand central to CT, because she didn't have a car. and then my brother had to go and get the cuz at the station. she went in, spent 15 minutes with grandma, and six months of waiting was over in six hours. beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep...........
Re: I An Anew (re edit) by scitz	5-Aug-03/12:24 PM
de HABilitated man.
Re: Portsmouth belle 2 by Garrett S Sexton	5-Aug-03/12:22 PM
this is a lyric. and a damn fine one at that.
Re: a comment on I, Ann Boleyn by http://mulberryfairy	5-Aug-03/8:55 AM
it is fairly obvious that it is written by men. all one need do is examine the first three words of the book of genesis: "in the beginning,". they clearly impose limits on the limitlessness of the creator.
Re: He's Dead You Bastards (for zzinia) by scitz	5-Aug-03/8:49 AM
oh, god. i hate to encourage this sort of thing.
Re: A parking lot, a smoke, and the pleasure of being alone by thepinkbunnyofdoom	5-Aug-03/7:35 AM
so, i really enjoyed the parts in between the lines. really.
Re: Joe is Dead Now by Freethinker1602	5-Aug-03/7:31 AM
p.s.--sorry for your loss.
Re: a comment on Joe is Dead Now by Freethinker1602	5-Aug-03/7:30 AM
imp, if you worked that into the lines of the poem, the sorrow would cut deeper.
Re: Phantom Space Adventure by SupremeDreamer	5-Aug-03/7:27 AM
jim! i'm done for! a cosmic thread has warped and wrapped me, worm-and-black holed me...i die, a red dwarf among yellow giants.... <hurl>
Re: the birth of venus by princesszoe	5-Aug-03/7:25 AM
birth, or death? or too-rapid decline. this is the larva of a great one.
Re: Are You Experienced? by EAger to Offend	5-Aug-03/7:22 AM
"The world is thin as paper," I thought. "And as fragile as glass." the paper makes a nice circuit to the intro, but the fragile as glass bit--crap. over-used, maudlin sap. my complimets on your vividly descriptive second and 3rd stanzas. good work, there.
Re: a comment on I wanna die by scitz	5-Aug-03/7:19 AM
dude! get a theatrical friend to fake the swells. christ, stay away from that crap. the greezey head may look great, but it feels like arse. chicks dig tragedy too. write 'an ode for a mate who died, saving me' or something like that....
Re: The Longest Wait (Revised) by Caducus	5-Aug-03/6:52 AM
okay, re-reading, i'm making a suggestion to change the last stanza, again, making it more active, less passive. *also* watch how many commas you use! they really break up a piece. if you can get away without using them,. do so. Fate in a horizontal line: The illuminated split of jade through black. Time, revered by an impervious staff. They destroy the remnants of her, in sheets. They make the bed for another, Leaving me to silence. there's still something missing, but you'll find it. you'll sharpen your sword if you can manage to cut away the passive voice, cad.
Re: I wanna die by scitz	5-Aug-03/6:44 AM
oh scitz! suh a guilty pleasure, the pimple poem! and you are a master of it! what a conun-fucking-drum! 10. for polishing the craft.
Re: my company by girlandwords	5-Aug-03/6:26 AM
you could do with a few apostrophes, poetess