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The invisible man (Free verse) by Hostileintent
'A rolling stone gathers no moss' You blink, you fall- everything's lost Our seventy brief years- on this earth Time's worthless blink- you're not éven worth For will they all notice- if you go Will they care- you doubt so. The invisible man- the mán's invisible. But that's HIS point- it's not yours You are here- and yet on tours What is it What have you got (leprocy?) Maybe you should just turn to pot. The invisible man- he wánts to be invisible. People don't care- and yet you do You're the one- supposed to coo When théy're in the shit- you're that shitty- Bottom less- Pit. You're sick of this shit. You don't wana be that pit No one seems to give a fuck They walk on you- just like much If you left to room- and came back Would lines of speech- at all crack? (Doubtful) Should you not go in a blaze of glory Does spec tacular- constitute glory Guns and bombs and sex and booze After all- what have we got to loose Some band, you think- said it best- 'Nothingman.' Makes no difference to the rest Like a leper Kept away for ever A bell for you- a warning for ever 'Nothingman'

Up the ladder: Lullaby (Finding Peace)

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 61
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.357143
Weighted score: 6.7232094
Overall Rank: 481
Posted: August 8, 2003 2:48 PM PDT; Last modified: August 8, 2003 2:48 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] Mr Pig @ 62.105.119.105 | 13-Aug-03/8:13 AM | Reply
reminds me of a Neil Young song and yes, you get the point across of how we're just a number, metric and disposable.

Lose the brackets you don't need them, leave that for the reader to decide. 7

Too much use of the word shit in stanza 3, otherwise its a grilled goose.
[10] sir_heff @ 65.172.117.1 | 14-Aug-03/11:50 AM | Reply
hey thats like a discription of how i felt in highschool.... ahh the good old..... well the old days anyway. hehe
its good, one of your best, if not the best
[n/a] <~> @ 172.151.78.213 | 14-Aug-03/7:27 PM | Reply
1. tell me how old you are
2. tell me what your endgame is
3. tell me how far you want me to go.

z
[n/a] Hostileintent @ 159.134.54.152 > <~> | 16-Aug-03/1:19 PM | Reply
i am 18

my endgame is to express myself through words effectively

i would like you just to tell me what is really bad, what is good, and to rate them.thanks
[0] deleted user @ 85.210.210.92 | 16-Jan-07/6:02 PM | Reply
Common shite
221 view(s)




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