regarding some deleted poem...	22-Apr-03/7:37 PM
Very well put.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Apr-03/7:39 PM
Utterly insane. I love you. -9-
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Apr-03/7:42 PM
Odd switch from third to first person at the beginning but interesting none the less. I think it could use some more work but its not bad. -6-
Re: glazed point of view by sir_heff	22-Apr-03/7:46 PM
spoken like somebody whose been tokin, but do why can't you pass that shit? Cause the bunny wants a hit! -9-
Re: god damn P.D.A. by sir_heff	22-Apr-03/7:49 PM
Yeah I know Exactly how you feel. -10-
Re: beat myself with a stick by sir_heff	22-Apr-03/7:51 PM
Funny but, it seems to ryhme too much(if thats possible) -7-
Re: waking up to fucking reality by d35	28-Apr-03/6:20 PM
Cruel Fate. Oh well, anyway I like the way that it was detached and could have several different meanings. -10-
Re: The band "Sigh" aced their MENSA tests by Jeremi B. Handrinos	28-Apr-03/6:27 PM
See what happens when you obey your parents? -10-
Re: To Be by Gothicnightmare	28-Apr-03/6:39 PM
Oi Blah Vay! You didn't. You just didn't! For Chirst Sake you Didn't okay!! You are not a mass serial killer nor will you ever be(because you post poems like this on the internet and people start watching you like a hawk) so no!. I can't call this trash because it at least has some good imagery(just a little) but Geeze Louise there is no real strength as a lyric and it reads like a bad metallica song(no offense to said band) from after load. I try and be nice, really I do, and I hope you don't take offense but this is not a winner in my books. -1-
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Apr-03/6:43 PM
Nice. A bit dark but still nice. Very crisp mental video in my head. -9-
Re: he was the one i had written about before i met him by rockinindividual	28-Apr-03/6:47 PM
If I was girl I'd kiss him goodnight but since I'm not I'd say "see ya later" -8-
Re: Regrets by Mikius	28-Apr-03/6:51 PM
Hmmm... My final say??? you meaning 'saying' or 'your last words', 'dying breath' maybe? Just checking. Not bad anyway. -6-
regarding some deleted poem...	3-May-03/1:40 PM
Yes I must say thats kinda fucked up. If it wasn't so funny I'd said that a convo couldn't be poetic but I don't care. -10- This was LMAOF!!
Re: kruder&dorfmeister by rockinindividual	3-May-03/1:48 PM
I felt like this didn't hold my attention too well. Its not bad but it is lacking in some aspect that I feel could be there but isn't(I have no clue what it is either and thats driving me nuts). Its held back when it needs to read more smooth and sexy like a coffee house music. -5-
Re: We be free by blurryphotograph	3-May-03/9:47 PM
You be motivated, I give you that Plus I give you this too -8- From the blind deaf and mute
Re: Totem Pole by horus8	8-May-03/5:16 PM
Seems to me that there are a few awkward places if I read it out loud. Other than the "We've got a hundred reasons to live;" it seems to extend just about a breath too far compared to the rest of the lyric. Very nice tho -9-
regarding some deleted poem...	8-May-03/5:31 PM
Good, and I think that the abrupt ending furthers the exhaustion that you clearly express in this poem. -8- :)
Re: Sanctuary by Lolly	9-May-03/11:37 PM
consider these as replacing your last lines with(walls within, hidden behind my thick skin) -9-
Re: My final poem by lee's tommy	9-May-03/11:48 PM
Hmmmm... A little melodramatic and defiantly not worthy of a darwin awarde. Try being either steping out of the norm, in how you kill yourself or describe it in a very detailed account till either the point of; last dying breath, lost strengh to continue writing, or shortly after regret for taking your life has just begun(anything longer than 3 lines there tends to get old). I prefer an odd way to die mixed with lose of ablitity to write further. -3-
regarding some deleted poem...	10-May-03/12:03 AM
How can you not fit into a crowd somewhere? Sure I can beleive the heart breaker and the trendsetter bit, I mean most people aren't. I think your pushing your feelings of alienation into a hyperbole. A big one. Plus by standing not Its the people that don't set trends or have "real friends" that end up being talked about, just not in front of their face, cause that wouldn't be nice. Your not really saying anything special here that hasn't been said a thousand times in a better way with more depth and detail. I'm a big fan of lyrics but these aren't that grand. -4-