poemranker ::My final poem by lee's tommy

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Free verse № 48855

My final poem

Member since 2003 · Posted 9 May 2003 · 4 comments

My whole world is crumbling, there's nowhere i belong, behavior so egregious, no sense of right or wrong. I hold me in contempt, i charge myself with crimes, and guilty is my plea, now it's judgement time. What befit's the man, where punishment's to soft, a man you can't reform, this man we must cut off. To let him carry on, would be a sin to all, HELL has he unleashed, so HELL should be his fall. He even punished love, his one and surly last, so bid the beast farewell, as he breathes the silent gas........... TNX

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4 comments

[0] Bachus 9-May-03/12:05 PM Reply
Shit.
[n/a] lee's tommy › Bachus 9-May-03/1:01 PM Reply
Pardon? can you please induldge a simple man like me?
[3] thepinkbunnyofdoom 9-May-03/11:48 PM Reply
Hmmmm... A little melodramatic and defiantly not worthy of a darwin awarde. Try being either steping out of the norm, in how you kill yourself or describe it in a very detailed account till either the point of; last dying breath, lost strengh to continue writing, or shortly after regret for taking your life has just begun(anything longer than 3 lines there tends to get old). I prefer an odd way to die mixed with lose of ablitity to write further. -3-
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › thepinkbunnyofdoom 10-May-03/1:39 AM Reply
Then, Sir, perhaps you would enjoy the story "Dying Words" by David J Schow, available in "Best New Horror vol. 9", edited by Stephen Jones. It is about a man who, while typing a short story about zombies, finds himself turning into a zombie. Upon reading it, I declared it to be the most whimsical jape of the season!