Regrets

Member since 2002 · Posted 28 Apr 2003 · Edited 29 Apr 2003 · 4 comments

My time has come I lie in bed The sharpened scythe, I'm all but dead My life is spent My days are through Winter comes To life renew As I part I leave regrets I wish I'd lived, Not hedged my bets I loved you once so long ago But now, just darkness and I must go As I part My final say, Live your life and love the day For I wasted mine On a silent glance Listen now You still have a chance

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mean 6.75 weighted 5.21 rank 4441 views 230 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

4 comments

[n/a] JakeBike 28-Apr-03/3:29 PM Reply

please change the title to 'Advice from Damocles'.

[6] thepinkbunnyofdoom 28-Apr-03/6:51 PM Reply

Hmmm... My final say??? you meaning 'saying' or 'your last words', 'dying breath' maybe? Just checking. Not bad anyway. -6-

[n/a] Ranger 29-Apr-03/10:38 AM Reply

Here's how it is: I like the content very much, but the timing is dodgy in places. For example change line 10 to simply 'leaving regrets', have a look through it and you will see what needs reducing. I expect you will reedit this one too so shall save my vote for the time being.

[n/a] Mikius › Ranger 29-Apr-03/1:11 PM Reply

I see what you mean. I'll look at re-working it. I'm also not too happy about the last 3 verses, they seem lacking in description. Any other suggestions?