replying on Front, Porch, Swing. by horus8
28 Dec 2002, 6:04 PM
speaking of uta hagen, we both trained under her. get it now?
replying on Front, Porch, Swing. by horus8
28 Dec 2002, 6:03 PM
you're forgetting billy bob too, but 'dog star', and 'dennis quaid' and the sharks aren't bad compared to the others.
replying on Front, Porch, Swing. by horus8
28 Dec 2002, 5:58 PM
exactly.
on Mountain Ash, Mid Glamorgan by Nicholas Jones
28 Dec 2002, 5:57 PM
beautiful.
on Maria by Nicholas Monson
28 Dec 2002, 3:23 PM
(whom to that) the woman and the whom don't work well off of eachother in the last line. still a pleasant, and stirring poem to say the least.r
sure, i'd love to..'dada', (i don't know if i'm spelling it correctly),
is poetry in a artistic shape that works on maby levels within the readers psyche, but i can give you a better example. a poem i wrote called hey, shut up and cut my grass. z wrote one shaped like a penis..but i don't think that dada is even necisarily applicable to this poetic situation, let me do an edit, try this.
i was left standing,
by myself holding hands
with the air, the bleak
moon stared down upon me
and seeing that i was a
solitary figure, stood
aside and let me be.
I watched slowly as days
went by, fluttering past
at an alarming rate.
my life is going by
too, i'm noticing nothing
but you, indirect emotion
lingering on your breath
you didn't know
what to say
so you didn't
say anything.a
is poetry in a artistic shape that works on maby levels within the readers psyche, but i can give you a better example. a poem i wrote called hey, shut up and cut my grass. z wrote one shaped like a penis..but i don't think that dada is even necisarily applicable to this poetic situation, let me do an edit, try this.
i was left standing,
by myself holding hands
with the air, the bleak
moon stared down upon me
and seeing that i was a
solitary figure, stood
aside and let me be.
I watched slowly as days
went by, fluttering past
at an alarming rate.
my life is going by
too, i'm noticing nothing
but you, indirect emotion
lingering on your breath
you didn't know
what to say
so you didn't
say anything.a
on first words by decadentlaurel
27 Dec 2002, 5:51 PM
shouldn't this be final thouhts?
on im playing basketball by rockinindividual
27 Dec 2002, 5:41 PM
this is all second act. no first or third? it needs more arc. set up your anger more, so that we know why you are mad, exactly, and more of the process you took to expose that anger and fear in order to cure it..beyond just the basketball..that's only a third of the solution. where is the other two thirds? good first draft though. here's a seven.
on dps 2 - new ver. by decadentlaurel
27 Dec 2002, 5:28 PM
very romantic and surreal. captivating visuals. a wonderful poem.e
replying on The primates fate (chrystal ball foot switch) by Bachus
26 Dec 2002, 4:39 PM
you get exceedingly funnier by the millisecond. care for a whiff of snuff. I just had it imported from tasmania. i also have cuban cigars, FRESH....of course. if you'd like one i'll summon my butler with the cognac tray.
on pragmatic bastard! by skaskowski
26 Dec 2002, 3:36 PM
close.h
on it sounds like dying but tastes like living. by skaskowski
26 Dec 2002, 3:25 PM
fucking sheer spoon fed brilliance, and you're right, and i'll probably never be, but you're mine. i love your poetry. i could read it all day every day, and i do. i love you. more than the rocks that i was, or the fences i paint more than the [horse] more than the [sky net] your pen is a neon maniac blue. your stroll a hijack 'platinum' band that fits and squeezes. i'm just a handprint. caved.e
on Oh my gosh what was that? by ==Doylum
26 Dec 2002, 3:19 PM
your confessional is lacking pyrgates and enbrowning, you have no prawnes...and worst of aLL NO POOP DECK.therefore, you leave me no choice, but to offer you the plank complete with corn and whole peanuts. also we have a plank that comes in wood grain, hangover black and sesame seed. enjoy.r
on your voice soothes me in the dark by rockinindividual
26 Dec 2002, 3:09 PM
that was fun.??
on The Day the Winter Muse Fighters of the World Came By by <~>
25 Dec 2002, 10:14 PM
cheers. i can't give it a ten because of the sensitive nature of it 'all', but precise writing.e
replying on Doped Up Dr. Seuss by smlink84
25 Dec 2002, 10:05 PM
i met his wife at a charity event in san diego last month. hilarious. really fucking odd bird.
on lovely by pink_punk_kisses87
25 Dec 2002, 10:03 PM
almost there, maybe add another beginning sentence for 'setting' than space, then stanza, sentence close.