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first words (Free verse) by decadentlaurel the gray haired man creeps forward, trembling, leaning more
weight on his better foot. the floor creaks. he touches the
wall and his head fills with faded images of days gone by.
memories lost renew. keep your hands off the walls william.
how she hated it when he would come in from playing. now
all he wished for was to hear her just tell him that one
more time.
Up the ladder:
sermon
Down the ladder:
purple and black gangstaz theme tune
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.5555553
Posted: September 16, 2002 10:58 PM PDT; Last modified: September 16, 2002 11:00 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.7777777 Overall Rank: 11333 Comments:
[5]
nentwined @ 192.168.0.69
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16-Sep-02/11:25 PM
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Reply
a sad/sweet sentiment. I couldn't get into the reading of it, however.
[n/a]
decadentlaurel @ 24.80.254.207
> nentwined
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16-Sep-02/11:50 PM
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i no understand?
[5]
nentwined @ 192.168.0.69
> decadentlaurel
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20-Sep-02/12:08 AM
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Reply
I don't really feel the "poem" nature of it, I suppose -- there's nothing that breaks naturally into a cadence or rhythm. I think it makes excellent short fiction, though.
[n/a]
decadentlaurel @ 24.80.254.207
> nentwined
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21-Sep-02/11:32 AM
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yesyeysesyse. i suck.
[5]
nentwined @ 192.168.0.69
> decadentlaurel
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21-Sep-02/11:32 AM
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Reply
I wouldn't say *that* per se. :)
why 'first'?
an enfants first word
This is entitled first words, yet it seems like the end of something.
shouldn't this be final thouhts?
126 view(s)
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