regarding some deleted poem...	5-Aug-03/12:56 PM
a little self indulgent and trivial for a poem about drug addiction. Would it be offensive of me to suggest you are not an addict?
Re: Perfection Forever by odon919	6-Aug-03/8:30 AM
Funny how words straight from your heart come out in rhyme. I think the abbreviations fit in well with the idea of a pimple
Re: blue lilac and I (edit) by richa	7-Aug-03/6:11 AM
If anyone wants to make a helpful comment how about making the change of emphasis from I to the lilac in the middle a bit more seemless thanks.
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Aug-03/6:15 AM
like the first verse, if this is a first draft I guess you could shorten it a bit. Second verse is my favourite, the mention of bulimc in the third I am not sure about. The last three lines really tail off well
Re: Definition of Hypocrisy by Retaliate	7-Aug-03/6:25 AM
mmm sounds just like england too. As for the poem it sounds a bit like a political speech. And you can not get more hypocritical than them. good though
Re: Speaking my mind. Brilliant Idea! by thepinkbunnyofdoom	7-Aug-03/6:27 AM
first two verses are your best yet the rest sounds a bit of a lecture though
Re: Emotion Dawns by Nightmare-Poet	7-Aug-03/6:29 AM
I am always amazed at all the sad poems on here that employ nursery rhyme verse.
Re: Back to the Fistful of Haiku by HaikuMofo	7-Aug-03/6:32 AM
this is sixteen haikus. I think versed haikus are supposed to have some kind of theme running through them. A good haiku should stand up on its own. I think the first one does, it is quite good
Re: The Belgian Bookworm [revised] by DreamerSupreme	7-Aug-03/6:41 AM
good, if you wanted to redraft it I would suggest making it a bit tighter. There are lots of nice images but there are gaps in between.
Re: Inet. mag. editors R jealous red haired Jews, oh and I'm 29 by horus8	7-Aug-03/7:41 AM
good poem and well done for making it so far then!
Re: EARTH Inc. Memo: by SP REYNOLDS	12-Aug-03/8:43 AM
pretty enjoyable read Would certainly go down well at a rally
Re: (The vinyards of Tuscany) by Patsy	12-Aug-03/8:45 AM
Not sure why the title is parenthesized is it because it is somehow incedental. I like the lively use of language 'victims of a grape' sounds out of place though
Re: twilight by geewhiz1962	12-Aug-03/8:47 AM
OK at least shows signs of wanting to get to grips with the subject
Re: one day, one moment by crwncka1	12-Aug-03/8:50 AM
A bit prosaic and lacking. I like the idea of fog as burning away (like smoke). Unless you are about to delve deep into philosophy I would leave 'the only thing real' well alone because it just sounds cliched.
Re: American Hiker by Garrett S Sexton	12-Aug-03/8:51 AM
your writing always speaks of a writer of quality (and laziness)
Re: Frozen by Mona Lisa	12-Aug-03/8:55 AM
good poem 'He wants to assert his power through sex,' is not needed as the poem communicates this fine.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Aug-03/1:09 PM
this poem to me is everything that is wrong with the world
Re: Padre's Gumbo by SupremeDreamer	14-Aug-03/5:34 AM
good poem, all the images link in so well and your signature food metaphor
regarding some deleted poem...	14-Aug-03/5:35 AM
get rid of the last two lines, it is an ill thought out cliche. A retard is someone with retarded development relative to average. The bell curve shows that 98 percent of people fall within 1 sd either side of average on most measures of mental proficiency. and all the questions you ask are a little too blatent. It should be the reader asking themselves these questions not you having to explicitly tell them. Other than that a rather good poem
Re: The Lordy only knows why tornados have no nose by Bachus	14-Aug-03/6:50 AM
put the title after the poem and it sounds like the dialogue of a schizophrenic, which is worthy in itself. mullberryfairy: 'why would anybody want two games of twister?' 'exactly!' -8-