Re: a comment on Late Break by MacFrantic	1-Jul-06/12:02 AM
I get what you mean, it has never been a word to appeal to me poetically though. But, as lots of people say, each to their own.
Re: moving on by Jigg	30-Jun-06/12:43 AM
Typo line 6 - 'were', I think you mean. But the grammar isn't very user-friendly there so it could be that you meant 'where'. Not very clear though. It's pretty much all over the place here, things don't follow too logically. But then I suppose that's not surprising given stanza one. Fair enough, I guess. 'Back of head met brick' is great, but it would have cracked me up if it had been 'back of head met Chewbacca'.
Re: COCK by Stephen Robins	30-Jun-06/12:38 AM
Sounds pretty legendary to me.
Re: Late Break by MacFrantic	28-Jun-06/2:29 PM
Other than 'deconstruct' this is excellent. Very tidy indeed.
Re: Lovers east of the Coombe by Caducus	28-Jun-06/2:22 PM
Great use of the limerick format for something beautiful. I think Dovina's got a point regarding the logic in here - the bough itself doesn't blow away. You could easily get round it by making that line refer to the leaves, perhaps "A bough's gold bloom". This is pretty damn gorgeous though.
Re: a comment on Money Back by drnick	28-Jun-06/2:14 PM
Yeah, I think quite a lot of the old guard have moved on, but a few of us are still about. I've finished for the year, and am home over the summer - killing myself working and not having time to write despite promising myself I'd set some aside. Quite honestly I've had the most boring couple of months imaginable...maybe I should have gone to Michigan instead of Cardiff, by the sound of things. A bit more of a trek to America though. I have got a couple of poems waiting to be submitted; they need a bit of an edit and some proper time before I can bring myself to inflict them on you all though.
Re: Always With Me by fallen_rose	25-Jun-06/11:48 AM
I don't have the time to give my usual full-length essay, but you would benefit from injecting a little of the 'show, don't tell' aspect into your writing.
Re: Money Back by drnick	25-Jun-06/11:45 AM
Great repeating lines, they make this catchy and cool. A bit more punctuation wouldn't go amiss though. How did the year go? The ranker's missed your presence recently, hope things are going well!
Re: A Little War Victim by amanda_dcosta	25-Jun-06/11:42 AM
This is super - I'd get rid of the lines 'I wonder why I was ever born/To feel humanity's wrath and scorn' though.
Re: a comment on My secret to life by amanda_dcosta	25-Jun-06/11:40 AM
I don't know that I'll be able to come up with anything particularly useful at the moment. Am doing 54-hour weeks currently up to my elbows in butter, cheese, milk and yoghurts at my friendly local supermarket so I'm pretty exhausted and not really thinking straight. The intention was that I'd have some time for writing this summer, but that's yet to materialise. I like the poem; in my opinion the rhyme scheme works nicely except for the last stanza (although the Queen's birthday celebrations are on the TV in the background; quite a distraction when trying to read poetry...) and as a devotional poem it's very good. But as I'm sure you're aware, due to the very nature of the poem, it'll get a mixed reaction. Those who agree with your beliefs will love it, those who disagree probably won't. Umm...that's all I can think of right now. Maybe tomorrow morning will be a better time. P.S. - One-nil to the Eng-er-land!
Re: a comment on Blessings by amanda_dcosta	22-Jun-06/4:55 AM
I wouldn't interpret anything you said as anti-English. You're too enlightned to resort to those sorts of attitudes. If you said that we were all a bunch of cucumber sandwich-munching, pretentious, arrogant fools mixed with a portion of football hooligans I'd assume it was irony (although you wouldn't be too far from the truth). I didn't read the comment though; I don't read her poems since the first couple. They just make the insults I've received from her about my poetic failings all the more difficult to swallow.
Re: a comment on Blessings by amanda_dcosta	22-Jun-06/4:45 AM
Exams went swimmingly, I actually wrote a paper about the problem of evil and more or less annihilated the argument above. It was the most fun I've ever had in test although I had to forcibly stop myself writing "of all the logical turds I've ever come across, this is the brownest". You're spot on about the way in which facts become almost as vague as theories when reinterpreted. It also depends a hell of a lot on assumptions made. I was told of a theory which says that if mainstream assumptions in physics and evolution are correct, then it also entails that the planet can't be as old as it is. I don't know the name/proposers of the theory, so thus far my attempts to research it have been in vain (not that I've tried much) but I think it goes like this: If the world is as old as it's supposed to be, and its rate of spin has been slowing at a constant rate since its creation, then at the beginning of its life the world would have been spinning too fast to hold itself together. Again, that's dependent on various assumptions - and I wouldn't try to use it as an argument until I actually knew more about it (can anyone point me in the right direction?) but it's an intriguing take on history. Also, England could do with being the only team in their next couple of games. We should beat Ecuador, but then it's either Holland or Portugal...and right now I'm not confident. Damn football. My nerves have been systematically shredded over the last couple of matches. You keeping up with the USA's progress?
Re: Plot twist by annadoc	22-Jun-06/4:28 AM
This is fantastic, although I'd have liked fewer questions and more elaboration on those which remain. 'Do nightmares only occur at night...Do only winged creatures and flying machines take flight?' is such a wonderful passage. I don't really know what you could leave out of this despite my taste for fewer questions, nor do I think it needs to be any longer. I really don't know what to suggest. Possibly the wish and dream lines could go, they're the weakest of the lot. I'd also leave out the very first line (is it an alternative title?) In spite of the flaws, I absolutely love this.
Re: Spongey Disease by lukehanney	22-Jun-06/4:23 AM
I think this poem is about theological discussions on the four horsemens' forums. They certainly leave me that way. Tip-top and tickety-boo.
Re: ODE TO NICHOLAS JONES III by lukehanney	22-Jun-06/4:18 AM
'But I can't read them...I'm diabetic' is probably the funniest thing I've come across this week.
Re: a comment on Blessings by amanda_dcosta	20-Jun-06/1:01 AM
Oops...I just realised how that could have been interpreted. I meant that the Quentin whatshisface chap is the moron, not ALChemy. I have been abandoning the Internet in general recently. My soul is being eaten by work and the World Cup (not necessarily in that order) at the moment. And when I do get online I'm either too tired to read poems properly, or I can't stay long enough to read them as they deserve to be read. I will be back properly though, as soon as is possible - particularly if you keep writing poems like this!
Re: a comment on Blessings by amanda_dcosta	19-Jun-06/11:48 AM
The fact that he chose to use the notion of evil as an argument against God just shows him to be an utter moron; having previously resorted to Hawking's theory in order to give a vague conclusion that God doesn't exist just reinforces that. Whatever God does is morally good. Morality stems from God, ergo whatever He does is perfectly justified. There isn't a system of morality external to God. I don't have time for a proper rant, sadly. Maybe later.
Re: a comment on I Never Promised You a Rose Garden by oneglove	19-Jun-06/11:36 AM
And it has thus gone from being a good poem to being a very good poem. I think maybe you'd get the reading you want if you linked an online resource with the story behind this, then we'd make the connection. Top stuff though.
Re: You Sang To Me In A Cathedral Chamber by Ranger	13-Jun-06/1:03 AM
Person using Mr. Robins' computer: thanks for the anon zero - I assume it's to get Fraser back on top spot (where he rightly belongs) but you know, you could have just asked ;-)
Re: Blessings by amanda_dcosta	13-Jun-06/1:01 AM
Amanda, I can't stop for long but I thought I'd log in briefly to say that I think this is one of the best poems you've posted so far. It has an almost impeccable rhythm (line 24 I think you can afford to lose 'all', and line 27 felt a little short - other than that I have no complaints) which meant that I even glossed over the 'hearts/apart' rhyme without noticing...very rare indeed for me not to see that one straight away. I have to say also that it has a lightness of heart which is ideal for a sunny tuesday morning here. So thank you for the read! Anyhoo, must dash - I'll catch you later, for sure.