Poemranker [Poem: moving on] [by Jigg] Thu Nov 21 12:40:30 PST 2024

moving on (Ode) by Jigg

It was terribly basic No real thought Back of head met brick A lesson was taught Sitting alone now I can see The reasons where gave Don't apply to me Who misbehaved? My system was cleared In a far away place No conscience was smeared I didn't bring a disgrace Just have to find A lover for keeps Must have hair on top of a mind Then all have benefit reaps

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Up the ladder: Poor Old Joe

Down the ladder: that explains it

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)

	Graph	Votes
10		0	0
9		0	0
8		0	0
7		2	0
6		0	0
5		0	0
4		0	0
3		0	0
2		0	0
1		0	0
0		1	0

Arithmetic Mean: 4.6666665
Weighted score: 4.9602656
Overall Rank: 8614

Posted: June 26, 2006 10:52 PM PDT; Last modified: June 26, 2006 10:52 PM PDT
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Comments:

[7] Ranger @ 86.131.59.63 | 30-Jun-06/12:43 AM | Reply

Typo line 6 - 'were', I think you mean. But the grammar isn't very user-friendly there so it could be that you meant 'where'. Not very clear though. It's pretty much all over the place here, things don't follow too logically. But then I suppose that's not surprising given stanza one. Fair enough, I guess.
'Back of head met brick' is great, but it would have cracked me up if it had been 'back of head met Chewbacca'.

[7] ecargo @ 63.22.18.184 | 2-Jul-06/12:14 PM | Reply

I think you contort the words to fit the rhymes a little too much, particularly the last line.

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