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moving on (Ode) by Jigg
It was terribly basic No real thought Back of head met brick A lesson was taught Sitting alone now I can see The reasons where gave Don't apply to me Who misbehaved? My system was cleared In a far away place No conscience was smeared I didn't bring a disgrace Just have to find A lover for keeps Must have hair on top of a mind Then all have benefit reaps

Up the ladder: that explains it
Down the ladder: Poor Old Joe

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.6666665
Weighted score: 4.9602656
Overall Rank: 8602
Posted: June 26, 2006 10:52 PM PDT; Last modified: June 26, 2006 10:52 PM PDT
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[7] Ranger @ | 30-Jun-06/12:43 AM | Reply
Typo line 6 - 'were', I think you mean. But the grammar isn't very user-friendly there so it could be that you meant 'where'. Not very clear though. It's pretty much all over the place here, things don't follow too logically. But then I suppose that's not surprising given stanza one. Fair enough, I guess.
'Back of head met brick' is great, but it would have cracked me up if it had been 'back of head met Chewbacca'.
[7] ecargo @ | 2-Jul-06/12:14 PM | Reply
I think you contort the words to fit the rhymes a little too much, particularly the last line.
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