| Re: Gratitude by Dovina |
3-Jul-05/1:27 AM |
Rockmage - this isnt BAAAADDDDDD.
It really isn't.
Would you please be a gentlemen and say why you think so?
I admit the language is heavy handed in parts but like me she's trying to express herself and pick subjects hardly tackled.
I see a lot of beauty in the stuff you write and thats the real you not this pseudonym(s) of yours.
Worth a 6 at least.
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| Re: The And women by INTRANSIT |
6-Jul-05/3:55 AM |
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| Re: Born and Fed by Dovina |
6-Jul-05/3:56 AM |
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tit in line 2 just makes it read wrong.
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| Re: Crack baby by Caducus |
7-Jul-05/7:10 AM |
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| Re: Butterfly Plague by zodiac |
12-Jul-05/9:25 AM |
The title sucked me in and this part I wish I'd written :
Here's a naked-necked girl laughing
in a square, thumbnail sawing an orange-skin.
There is more too but I'm out of it.
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| Re: Dying Abroad by zodiac |
12-Jul-05/9:26 AM |
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Once I found out what a triolet is I'll come back.
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| Re: Mandrakes by Caducus |
1-Aug-05/9:32 AM |
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granted - its rough as a rhinos arse please help.
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| Re: First by Dovina |
9-Aug-05/8:03 AM |
A guess - Mr Springer
Final thought - confuzled.
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| Re: Horus8 & The Werewolves Live At The Hard Rock Cafe by horus8 |
9-Aug-05/8:04 AM |
Retitle - 'Plug'
I'd chop off my scaramanga to see it.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
9-Aug-05/8:06 AM |
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For that opening alone thanks for the piss stain trousers/
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| Re: Storm Damage by Caducus |
16-Aug-05/3:56 AM |
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God help me if Dark Angel sees this.
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| Re: Letter from Palermo by Caducus |
23-Aug-05/6:16 AM |
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Dont you just love that name? Hows the road truckmeister?
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| Re: Leaving the Woods House by zodiac |
23-Aug-05/7:49 AM |
I second what alchemy said and this is an awesome piece of writing - definitely in the top 10 I've read on here and elsewhere.
Last line should be tenderhooks
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| Re: Seekers by Dovina |
15-Sep-05/8:57 AM |
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you dont need asymettrically its too effucsive with it but i like the comparisons of natures shape to our own.
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| Re: Dale by INTRANSIT |
15-Sep-05/9:00 AM |
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its a freakin classic and normally what i liked a couple of years ago isnt the same now (which can be said of some readers to my work). This is still so haunting and ripping out the guts of a grandfather clock shows your emotive qualities spilling over - this poem made me like you as a human and writer.
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| Re: Creation by Quarton |
15-Sep-05/9:29 AM |
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Pretty good and technically sound it just seems a bit anonymous. Try and do one without the emphasis on rhyme it may be more punchy.
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| Re: Leaving Song by wilco |
15-Sep-05/9:30 AM |
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I know line 3 its so true.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
15-Sep-05/9:30 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
23-Sep-05/1:27 AM |
The stanza is goosebump cool. The title also drew me in and the whole things pretty to read.
The last line needs a tidy up, how about 'so i turn against the kansas wind'.
just shorten las tline a tad sire.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
27-Sep-05/4:46 AM |
I like the repetition and personal feel to 'let it'. Also i like :
Let the skies open and bruise the trees,
The fruit, the glassy banks of grass,
The branches shorn of all their leaves
Some of my imagery and form was inspired from your work, this like my own is flawed in parts (dont ask me where) but your poems always make me stop in my tracks and i feel improved just by reading.
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