| regarding some deleted poem... |
29-Sep-05/9:04 AM |
|
|
 |
| Re: A Barefoot Day in the Park by Dovina |
29-Sep-05/9:05 AM |
|
You always grab my attention 2nd stanza opening 4 is very good. The ending seems laclustre but then i am over dramatic.
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
29-Sep-05/9:07 AM |
|
As the poetandknowit proclaimed ex pimple going straight poet i am sad to see no rhyme. The poems not bad though bar the opening line.
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
6-Oct-05/1:32 AM |
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
10-Oct-05/4:17 AM |
For a moment there i thought of a dog.
Glad it was licorice.
Wham bam to the point nice one.
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
10-Oct-05/4:17 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: Loss by <{Baba^Yaga}> |
11-Oct-05/9:24 AM |
|
still brings a tear to my eye
|
|
|
|
| Re: The End by Caducus |
13-Oct-05/9:35 AM |
|
need to know last line of s4 - is it needed do you thibnk?
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
14-Oct-05/9:21 AM |
|
More of a thought process that a final process of being poetic. Like the self assurance of last line
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
14-Oct-05/9:22 AM |
|
Sounds like a song intro and a pretty good one but the end should be the end of an intro not the end
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
17-Oct-05/9:12 AM |
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
18-Oct-05/1:24 AM |
|
Shannon is a woman in texas. Off the tangent poetry a bit.
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
18-Oct-05/5:53 AM |
|
I cringed going back to read this.
|
|
|
|
| Re: My deepest thoughts by poetandknowit |
18-Oct-05/5:57 AM |
Looking back on my earlier stuff I agree it sucked ass.
The occasional line / stanza was okay but I cringe looking back at some of it.
My error was to post stuff in no apparent order, for instance I would post a poem i wrote at 20 and then the same day one I just wrote at 27 and its no wonder you thought 'what the fuck'?
I realized this error and birthed the swine - now I hope some of my later ones (the last 30 or so) are passable.
I was an arrogant cunt and apologize.
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
20-Oct-05/4:08 AM |
|
An experiment of grief and alcohol.
|
|
|
|
| Re: The nymph steals the farm-son by <~> |
20-Oct-05/9:23 AM |
|
I want lines 5 and 8 - lathe wonderful use of it too.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Marriage by Dovina |
21-Oct-05/5:10 AM |
I like the thoughts in this poem they are well written and orchestrated and though a mere opinion of one a damn eloquent one at that.
This in my humble opinion is one of your strongest - its very good.
Its also a good piece to do open mic.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Ruins by Caducus |
24-Oct-05/3:26 AM |
|
I dont know about htis one it was written a year ago, you lot decide.
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
29-Oct-05/3:09 AM |
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
31-Oct-05/9:34 AM |
announcing the time at the end refers to the time of her death was also the time of her life - 1941.
I just thought I'd mention it but its monday who cares lol./
|
|
|
|
