poemranker ::Gratitude by Dovina

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Free verse № 128077

Gratitude

by Dovina

Member since 2004 · Posted 30 Jun 2005 · 8 comments

On summer hills, a heavy bull eats brittle brown grass, and every bite tastes good. I see it in his face and wonder if he remembers the green blades of winter, or finds a duty of the living to pleasure in what the dead cannot, a gratitude for the running and mating that made this small pleasure possible.

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8 comments

[6] Shuushin 30-Jun-05/10:30 AM Reply
"eats" is a weak descriptor - lost opportunity at best.

Might want to tell me what it is you saw in his face that convinced you how he found the grass to be tastey.

Conceptually, there is a wide range of things the living can do that the dead cannot - I have trouble pulling a subset of that from the grazing, running and matings of a cow.

I think you can do it - but not by just telling me to.
[n/a] Dovina › Shuushin 30-Jun-05/4:13 PM Reply
Then how about this:

On summer hills, a heavy bull drools,
brittle brown grass like cigarillos in his teeth,
his eyes fixed on consumption,
oblivious to my presence,

I wonder if he remembers
the green blades of winter,
or finds a duty of the living
to pleasure in what the dead cannot,
a gratitude for the running and mating
that made this small pleasure possible.

Okay, I didn’t give you a subset. I’m still hoping the running and mating of his parents that gave rise to his existence is what gives this bull the gratitude and the will to make it through bleak late summer, hoping for green grass of winter and reveling in the life of it all. Do bulls think like that? Probably not, but I can hope they do.
[6] Shuushin › Dovina 1-Jul-05/11:47 AM Reply
I don't know D, I'm having trouble with the whole cow thing with the visibly enjoying the grazing to the running and mating.

Now that you've gone through the trouble of showing me his enjoyment I can't seem to anthropromorphize him to a plausible degree.

I love cows, I think they are cool and have a personality - but - I don't know. Another animal maybe?

Incidently I found out today why they put rings on cow's noses. The other reason.
[n/a] Dovina › Shuushin 1-Jul-05/3:57 PM Reply
Surely you have seen enjoyment in a cow’s face while eating; I mean while the cow was eating. So the anthropomorphosis problem is not in the pleasure of eating, but in relating the pleasure to ancestors who made eating possible. If I were to fancy that kind of thinking in a gazelle or lion, for example, how is that more plausible than a nose-ringed bull? Anyway, the analogy to human thinking is what I’m aiming for, as you know—the way I sometimes feel grateful for the courting and sex that make this hamburger enjoyable.

Maybe I’ll go at it from another angle.
[7] Caducus 3-Jul-05/1:27 AM Reply
Rockmage - this isnt BAAAADDDDDD.

It really isn't.

Would you please be a gentlemen and say why you think so?

I admit the language is heavy handed in parts but like me she's trying to express herself and pick subjects hardly tackled.

I see a lot of beauty in the stuff you write and thats the real you not this pseudonym(s) of yours.

Worth a 6 at least.
[n/a] Dovina › Caducus 3-Jul-05/10:38 PM Reply
Who are you talking to in Line 5?
[7] Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 3-Jul-05/9:38 PM Reply
I have a little trouble with the 3rd to last line. "To pleasure" Pleasure is a noun. now pleasuring can be used intransitivly as a verb.. as well as pleasured.

you could say "be pleased in what the dead cannot" and you don't lose the beats.
[n/a] Dovina › Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 3-Jul-05/10:37 PM Reply
Although I have no qualms about using "pleasure" as a verb, I’m changing it to "enjoy" because I’ve used pleasure twice.