| Re: Hoi Polloi by INTRANSIT |
29-Dec-05/4:18 AM |
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| Re: why? by nentwined |
29-Dec-05/4:19 AM |
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| Re: For Love of Baseball by Dovina |
29-Dec-05/4:32 AM |
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I like the end it wraps it up well
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| Re: Memoirs of a miners son by Caducus |
29-Dec-05/7:33 AM |
Line 3 should i say: he drew his breaths like a miners pick
instead of heroes sword?
Its a draft for sure but thanks cldtrucky
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| Re: Crowded by INTRANSIT |
29-Dec-05/7:35 AM |
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| Re: He Looks Great In Lycra by GAY AS FU*K |
10-Jan-06/9:33 AM |
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| Re: the sky chooses blue by <~> |
12-Jan-06/9:18 AM |
love kneescrape clarity - prayer like.
Clarity.
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| Re: Photograph by <~> |
12-Jan-06/9:20 AM |
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From my loft i found all my pictures and schoolwork from near age zero and reading this the day after prologed the feeling of '5' ....Line 3 was mine once too.
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| Re: Flow by zodiac |
12-Jan-06/9:22 AM |
Three different images of flow and damn good ones to boot.
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| Re: Intestinal Splash by cyan9 |
12-Jan-06/9:23 AM |
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Good but stanza 4 for me makes it tiresome, too biological, out of synch.
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| Re: The funeral and the table by Caducus |
13-Jan-06/6:49 AM |
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Formerly another poem altogether. A change of style nad experimental for me here and suggestions (if any) most welcome.
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| Re: Brogues are best by Stephen Robins |
13-Jan-06/6:51 AM |
A similar style to Dark Angel and pretty amusing.
Are you related?
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| Re: A tribute to our most precious Pearl by amanda_dcosta |
18-Jan-06/8:40 AM |
Dont know the history of the drafts but dont care its one of those poems which moves me.
That rarely happens.
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| Re: Racism 4 by Dovina |
18-Jan-06/8:42 AM |
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Stanza on eand three very solid. The end borders jerry springer final thought though.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
18-Jan-06/8:45 AM |
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Last 5 lines are beautiful and the repetition of "drown yourself" is very effective. Reminds me of Jonathan Morley a poet from Warwick University in England who does a lot of open Mic and who's work is kickin some anorak ass in cov.
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| Re: In praise of racism by INTRANSIT |
25-Jan-06/7:33 AM |
Different in style from you and the wit mixes well with the wisdom. I think the link from poin tot point needs a tidy though (example: their secret dimples until
the lightbulb is
screwed in
Szechuan
Some novel lines / expression use in this.
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| Re: A moment, homeward by ecargo |
25-Jan-06/7:35 AM |
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Sonnet like and an eye debut from you to me. Good first impression
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
25-Jan-06/8:32 AM |
I felt like washing after writing it.
I know someone this happened to too and realized you cant get close to someone closed - not completely anyway.
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| Re: Malice In Wonderland (edited) by Caducus |
27-Jan-06/7:46 AM |
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whatever i do i still think this need san edit
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| Re: The correct order of things by Stephen Robins |
1-Feb-06/1:46 AM |
Cool satire and how you view those who view different parts of society was done really well. Reminded me of hte Blur parklife album with its wit yet their was a sense of humor mixed in with acute observations.
Is this Dark Angel inspired? or are you not one of his many aka's?
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