Re: Nomads by amanda_dcosta	5-Jun-06/1:50 AM
Now this is real good and line 3 is the thoughts i would share when i see the same view. V.good
Re: A Schizophrenic by amanda_dcosta	5-Jun-06/1:53 AM
Some of the rhymings off due to a sense of allegiance of rhtme over substance but their is also some good lines notably 17-19 and first stza fairly good.
Re: My secret to life by amanda_dcosta	23-Jun-06/1:37 AM
typo - by-pass not bad, I like the occasional rhyme and the fact you wrote what followed on well as opposed to rhyme overdose.
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Jun-06/7:03 AM
Welcome to poemranker. I would suggest you make your welcome easier by considering the following. 1) All poetry posted on poemranker is copyrighted. I think the copyright message you have posted is pompous and patronizing. PS - the standard of your poetry is nothing to get excited about. Get a life.
regarding some deleted poem...	18-Jul-06/8:29 AM
I just had to read 'Good King Browneceslas' to stop me from dying of boredom
Re: I'm Learning To Drive by amanda_dcosta	21-Jul-06/1:53 AM
The images are conjured vividly and the stronger opening helps. The ending was a bit of a letdown as I got the impression throughout that this was going to be a chilled out poem about driving around in the elements and in the end i think you xcranked the gears and spun out out control (pardon the cheesy pun). If you made this about six or so lines shorter it could be a really cool piece. Dont get me wrong its good, worth a 7 or 8 in my opinion but not the finished piece it could be.
Re: I'm Learning To Drive by amanda_dcosta	21-Jul-06/2:02 AM
Here's an example creating more of a controlled meter, a touch of metaphor yet retaining what you implied in the original. If you want to change the following stanzas give it a go, the flow and line meter alone can do wonders to the readability and general impresson a poem can give. You have the whimsical vibe and portray things nice enough its just the control you kinda lose. sitting at the wheel. rain clouds storm heaven trees arch like a whores back, with electric veins and drums He’s there in my vehicle an observant kindly instructor, Watching my every move, eyes fixed on the road he commands… ‘Left indicator, brakes a little, clutch and first gear, move on slowly… hump ahead press the clutch and shift to two, accelerate a bit, if you’re confident, shift your gears to three and speed on’. And so I do. I shift to the fourth, speed away, ever confident that I know it all and forgets he’s there. The thrill of being in control envelopes my senses. I’m transferred to a world of my own, till I come to a junction; the rain’s pouring down and I don’t know how to stop, when he suddenly presses the brakes.. and then I realize he’s got the controls on his side too, and I’m saved in the nick of time. Lord, how could I forget You’re in control of my life? I’m glad you are.
Re: Here's your God by Caducus	1-Aug-06/5:33 AM
rough draft
Re: Children of Wolves by Caducus	5-Aug-06/1:43 AM
Anyone read Birthday letters?
Re: August 23, 1944 - 102 miles west of Paris by Ranger	16-Aug-06/2:46 AM
damn good
Re: The Breathing Dead by Caducus	18-Aug-06/6:35 AM
how the fuck did this shite turn up on the best list - someone get it down
Re: A Tragic Love Tryst In The Park Near The Sewage Works by Edna Sweetlove	24-Aug-06/1:19 AM
bravo
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Aug-06/1:20 AM
dont get the last line it seems.......weird. Soz
Re: On returning to a town where I used to live by Nicholas Jones	24-Aug-06/1:23 AM
Strong and well crafted opening. This reminded me of Larkin's earlier works in his Juvenilia poems chronicling coventry in a repugnant light and the sense of sadness that his birthplace was decaying. Its an excellent piece with an assertive voice and deserves praise.
Re: An Ode To My Dead Husband Bert by Edna Sweetlove	1-Sep-06/7:23 AM
Bert sounds like a man my Aunt married. Gratuitously gross well done
regarding some deleted poem...	6-Aug-07/8:15 AM
reminds me of malcolm who i worked with, are you writing his biography lol
Re: Confetti by Caducus	30-Aug-07/8:23 AM
rough draft about a father changing once he marries someone new, could do with a handhere guys any help appreciated.
Re: 1765: The Coventry Hangings by Caducus	5-Sep-07/5:26 AM
Pippin and cofa are indiginous trees of coventry 'cofa tree' was where coventry derived. After these hangings they were treated to a coating of hot tar and left to rot for 35 years - Coventry justice has never been the same since lol.
Re: 1765: The Coventry Hangings by Caducus	5-Sep-07/5:27 AM
oh and 'coventry blue' was the colour renowned that coventry weavers produced until the early 20th century.
Re: While waiting for someone to check in my cars by INTRANSIT	17-Oct-07/1:34 AM
Sweet. The seperation of adult responsibility and childhood innocence all linked by flesh until the teddy is subtle yet leaves me wanting those good ole 'stand by me' river phoenix days back.