Re: Her name was Marjorie Harper by Caducus	20-Oct-07/10:54 AM
Bloody hell. you know you've done ok when rockmage gives a 10. thanks (not for the score but for the :)
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Dec-07/8:54 AM
It conveys grief openly and unashamedly. The language changes from creative to the more basic but you place them well. Frank, honest and no bullshit poem, i respect that
Re: The Book of Images by Dovina	11-Dec-07/4:45 AM
back savouring this again, it gets better each time i read it. Merry X.
Re: Crotchety Old Geezer by Dovina	11-Dec-07/4:48 AM
geezer - Englands best export
Re: Engine Braking by INTRANSIT	11-Dec-07/4:52 AM
Artic freeze so to speak. Dealing with Class I drivers I usually imagine what they get up to when they aint trunking. Cool poem, unlike your journeys - short.
Re: The bakers wife by Caducus	14-Dec-07/1:29 AM
A draft at the mo, any ideas? Kind of inspired by gods wifes poem bread and oranges plus a brutal scene from the tudors.
Re: Suicide Note(I Blame You) by alvinb	14-Dec-07/5:36 AM
you write with the same flaws i did years ago and need a well intentioned critique. First off your opening is attention grabbing and you have a skill for meter and not verbose. It also looks like you keep focus throughout the poem yet the subject is so overdone and done better that you're setting yourself up for a fall. Try and be cryptic, creative, show dont tell. Someone on here once tore me to shreds and rightfully so, I got all defensive until i realized i was defending a poor standard of work. Dont get me wrong the critic was a bit of a knob (poetandknowit) but they knew good from bad and if you learn where your work is weak you could be credible. Go to the bottom of my profile, read an old poem and compare it to one now. 3-4 years makes a big difference IF you take suggestions on board. This site was my first and writers then like tintagiles, intransit, gods wife horus and christof are a good starting school for style, substance and a love for this old dog poetry.
Re: Milk and gas by Caducus	15-Dec-07/2:29 AM
As many will guess, this is my take on the demise of Sylvia Plath
Re: The Least of These by Dovina	21-Dec-07/3:23 AM
5th Stanza will court controversy and as its an opinion of the writers you may be asked by some to elaborate on it. Like baby in the hay but dont like sickly kids in.... Line 2 needs to end with - is, or a link to next line. I think you can say this shorter with more impact and leave out your thoughts and write from a neutral ground.
Re: I'm in love by nicole081083	21-Dec-07/3:25 AM
Very generic and exclusive for two. It totally lacks originality and rhyming does not validate it as a poem.
Re: Portsmouth Belle 5 by Garrett S Sexton	21-Dec-07/3:31 AM
Weird, Chauceresque.
Re: Nine by MacFrantic	21-Dec-07/3:33 AM
Goes on a bit but how it all connects stanza to stanza plus the fact that it engaged me has to be thumbs up and not two fingers. Reads well.
Re: This Poetry Thing by LynnJR	21-Dec-07/3:34 AM
bang.
Re: Broken by makelovenotwar	21-Dec-07/3:34 AM
Is this a joke?
Re: Go Ahead by makelovenotwar	21-Dec-07/3:36 AM
As appealing as britneys hole.
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Dec-07/3:37 AM
Limp.
Re: Aeroplanes and goslings by Caducus	2-Apr-08/11:11 AM
an oldie dusted over.
regarding some deleted poem...	6-Aug-08/6:52 AM
messerschmidts were German WW2 planes. This is more about the occupation of greek islands, in this case Kefalonia. thanks for reading.
Re: Anorexia is good for the soul by hobojo	21-Nov-08/8:38 AM
L9-10 I think could be one line 'I'm full on empty' The opening 4-7 lines are strongest, not convinced ont he title but like the idea of making a statement to the boys but it needs something more on that as it could be ? reason for why she/he is starving themselves.
Re: Poetic Blue Justice by Dovina	21-Nov-08/8:41 AM
Like the meter and form and that S1 and S6 begin and conclude with the message ..... Cant help feeling this is a sandwich though without the filling. Like: leather gloves, handicap blue, lost a leg - more of the character you serve up good images but too sporadically.