regarding some deleted poem...	22-Oct-03/8:40 AM
WOW!!!!!11 MEDIOCRITY CODE 00040400 http://www.mycgiserver.com/~prawne/code.jsp?action=decode&code=00040400
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Oct-03/8:41 AM
Yes, maybe it was the cheap beer. WOW!!!!!11 MEDIOCRITY CODE 00744481 http://www.mycgiserver.com/~prawne/code.jsp?action=decode&code=00744481
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Oct-03/8:41 AM
WOW!!!!!11 MEDIOCRITY CODE 8074D001 http://www.mycgiserver.com/~prawne/code.jsp?action=decode&code=8074D001
Re: falling in with the wrong crowd. by richa	23-Oct-03/9:41 PM
Cogent, with a knockout ending.
Re: Uncontrolled scribblings one luch break by Nicholas Jones	10-Jan-06/10:40 AM
Wow--must be Olde Poemranker Players week here. Welcome back. I haven't been here in ages either (work? pique?), so know what you mean about starting again. I like "iron January" (usually it is anyway)--the rest is very drafty (as in first pass) and with some tweaking will probably reveal it's form. Neither fallacious nor pathetic. TAFKAHattersHare
Re: Comment on Avian 'flu by Stephen Robins	10-Jan-06/10:42 AM
Nice.
Re: I, Ann Boleyn by http://mulberryfairy	10-Jan-06/10:43 AM
Always a crowd pleaser.
Re: Flow by zodiac	10-Jan-06/3:09 PM
This is great. Small things: corn rows should probably be two words (otherwise it's the hairstyle, no?); is unmoored quite it?--are they drifting in this dream, undone? killer ending and a richness of imagery and sounds.
Re: cat by Dental Panic	11-Jan-06/12:40 PM
Heh--clever. Fun w/ quantum mechanics! The connection between S's cat and what follows is a little tenuous though. [Cecil Adams' ("The Straight Dope" author) has a nice little versification of the explanation of Schrodinger's cat, for those who, like me, need a refresher: http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_122.html ]
Re: Birmingham gardens by INTRANSIT	11-Jan-06/8:08 PM
Late to the party (as always--just ask <~>, and I brought nasty cookies too). Some nice details here--really like "the specific gravity of my footsteps"; "to be like moss"; "fanning pinecones." Going to join the "joking oak" naysayers though (for what it's worth). Nice work--good luck with the submission.
Re: The Hermit on the Thoroughfare by http://mulberryfairy	12-Jan-06/2:47 PM
Some good details (I like the cubed trinity) but a lot to process. Not sure I get the connection btwn food and birth (elimination?). I think you could drop the first two lines and do a little paring elsewhere.
Re: eat your dinner meats by calliope	13-Jan-06/10:12 PM
"beef we don't need is still beef indeed" nailed it for me.
Re: A Haiku by amanda_dcosta	13-Jan-06/10:16 PM
Or even six-eight-six (or some other variation) if done right. The syllable count is the least of it. Very few (not I) can do it well, though. Your name is fun to say.
Re: levity kiss by skaskowski	15-Jan-06/9:11 AM
I get the "rules"-Leviticus intent, I guess (Leviticus is the book that deals w/ rules and ritual, right?), but the connection seems flimsy.
Re: Racism 2 by Dovina	15-Jan-06/9:18 AM
The main problem with this is too much telling, not enough showing. Dave Chappelle does a bit about being driven into the projects and knowing that's where they were headed because: "gun store, gun store, liquor store, gun store." That raises an immediate image, just those few words. That's what's missing here. More "liquor store, the greasy hot-dog stand" and less narrative and blatant point-making.
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jan-06/9:24 AM
Some nice detail, but some of your images don't hang together quite right. "She was green but full of spring, fascinated with chicken wings." Huh? Swizzlesticks mix but aren't mixed, that kinda thing. Amusing.
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jan-06/9:52 PM
A nice lyricism to this.
Re: Racism 3 by Dovina	15-Jan-06/9:56 PM
I like this better than the others--a little more oblique but more effective for it. "Two became one flesh" is a cliche; might want to recast in more original words. Maybe start off with a stronger word than "It"--what hit like an asteroid? Stands in for the real word, which is always less direct and, thus, effective.
Re: Jailbird by zodiac	17-Jan-06/1:45 PM
You've got such a great "eye" for details. This is good. I bet it'll end up even better. Was the repeat of "redecorated" deliberate? Jails are seldom on main streets (other than holding cells in police stations)--even county jails are behind gates and wires and fences, so there'd be no storefronts, generally, and no sidewalks to pace. Am I taking this way more literally than you mean it? I sometimes do that; miss the metaphor.
regarding some deleted poem...	17-Jan-06/1:52 PM
Wow--some lovely details and language. I'd pare down some of the "heres"--in the second stanza; maybe some of the "shalls" --i.e., consider cutting some of the extraneous words, so that the simplicity and power of the images comes through even stronger. Really like this.