Re: 9 Things to Eat for Breakfast & Why by A. Nomaly	17-Feb-09/10:53 PM
awesome
Re: Coffee or Love by Nepanthe	11-Sep-08/3:14 AM
Love it.
Re: I had no idea it could be so good by A. Nomaly	28-Apr-08/9:36 PM
This might be better in 4 lines: circumstance and one gone away in the next room, zebra stripped, cat for a dream and some Taurus, blank or I don't know. I liked it so much I re-typed it. 9. Don't you miss the loudness of the electric typrwriter?
Re: Absurd Robot by Nepanthe	10-Mar-08/11:58 PM
Make it less about you (i.e. "I") and let someone else dance to a cosmic beat. Love it. 9.
Re: In Limbo by Christof	10-Mar-08/11:57 PM
Sticky thud/hammer stuns. Totally.
Re: Radio Scan by Blindproject217	10-Mar-08/11:56 PM
I dig this. But check your punctuation...i.e. "I'll (line 11), it's (13), that's (14), it's (16), etc., and a few typos ("all the little things that I made me leave"). Dang, I'm a nitpicky editor monster now, but I only take the time because with some editing you've got something here. 8.
Re: The Least of These by Dovina	20-Dec-07/11:29 PM
I repeated "a stranger warmly fed" a few times out loud. Good feelings. Didn't love "as sickly kids in Pakistan" (to clarify, I LOVE those kids), but not sure your specificity there works. Last stanza's first two lines are as striking and good-ending-y as it comes, but the last line seems out-of-place? Really liked this, thanks for making me think, inspirational. 9
Re: a comment on Plug my Phone In by jessicazee	12-Sep-07/5:41 PM
thanks.
Re: Decks of Cards (So Long to the City) by wilco	11-Sep-07/1:35 AM
i want you to kiss my mouth; it is pretty
Re: Just Another Reason by Skamper	22-Jun-07/12:05 AM
Just write the word "until" instaead of "'til" for greater effect..., also, not a big deal but offspring in line 12 needs a "f"... I feel like the last 3 lines deserve more? Maybe incorporate them into your very strong intro? 8
Re: a comment on Within myself waiting for a call by jessicazee	22-Jun-07/12:00 AM
I was just obsessing about my foot parts while a dumb phone call was impending...I added some stuff, thanks for commenting...
Re: The Editor by Dovina	10-May-07/11:37 PM
drop everything except for the fruit stuff. LOVE: "their bent and pretty form."
Re: new clothes, same old story by nypoet22	26-Apr-07/2:48 AM
do you mean castanets? (sp I think?) Like the finger cymbals? Or maybe I don't know what a castinette is? Serious. Also, I love the last line so much. Could omit both periods.
Re: a comment on Hairball by jessicazee	26-Apr-07/2:28 AM
That, and totally surfing the web so hard.
Re: a comment on The Corner Tavern by jessicazee	26-Apr-07/2:25 AM
philos, thanks for your thoughtful comments. I think you're right with "stringy". I want that line to read "summer songs, a sing-along". (?) And the "current" holiday mood I was going for, um, like whatever holiday is upcoming, the bar's decorations foretell & anticipate that. (i.e. lighted shamrocks & leprechaun cut-outs). Maybe I will expand & elaborate. Yes about the last bit, a song on said jukebox and for the last two weeks burned hotly on my brain's iPod function.
Re: Prince of Void by Dovina	18-Apr-07/12:01 AM
I love the second line. I keep reading it. The word "bleak" is, uh, onomonapeida (sp?), yeah. Duh, you know what I mean and I won a trophy for spelling in 7th grade, but it phonetically intersects with its meaning? Is that the word? Or does that mean the word is the actual sound, like "beep"? God I love pot. Also,I kind of see a empty space between the last two lines? P.S. Funny aside: the first time I read this I thought 5th line read: "uncoupled from his sNoring"; hee.
Re: a comment on Hairball by jessicazee	25-Mar-07/4:14 AM
Thanks. I really find my idea of haiku (5-7-5) is the funnest poetry ever! Omigod! Oh my f-ing God! I can't remember that song, something something yeah.
Re: a comment on Paper Maker by Skamper	25-Mar-07/4:08 AM
I mean starting each line in that stanza with "the", "of" (twice), "in", etc. Your intended statements deserve the implied understanding that your audience is literate. Translation: your great writing is still poetry in sentences, in fact your really great writing! For example: throw them behind the mind of one with shoulder-shrug cares who watches the lacerations of the she -- stripped bare in declaration of paper cut wearing -- lacking depth but stinging all the same That was fun.
Re: a comment on Hairball by jessicazee	25-Mar-07/4:00 AM
That is a good way. Tell me more about onji? I know not.
Re: Paper Maker by Skamper	24-Mar-07/4:56 AM
some good lines --- 2nd stanza's first words over-prepositional, maybe marry up a few lines? Love: "with shoulder-shrug cares"; "try to stick them/felt-tipped". Good.