regarding some deleted poem...	27-Apr-05/1:16 AM
Don't try so hard. Plus, you forgot "anvil" and "tranquil."
Re: Next time by Billy Fights	3-May-05/2:29 PM
The second stanza rocks my world, a cliche, I know, but really, very very good. Maybe de-mystify the third stanza for us underlings, and also revise to lowercase the beginnings of lines that permit it. 9.6
Re: Just Another Poem by Damien	3-May-05/2:29 PM
I kind of love that you capitalized "Maths" and also the 3rd & 4th lines are brilliant. Suggestion: leave a space between every two rhyming lines. Not sure, but an idea. Good, I read it 3 times. 9.1.
Re: Void by darylchew	3-May-05/2:29 PM
Omit "yet the" in line 2; also the "Like" in line 5; try in the single line 8 leaving out "For". I think it you would say so much more without giving the reader obvious clues of metaphor. This is really very good. 8.9
Re: Home by Dovina	3-May-05/2:29 PM
Try omitting "Then" from stanza 2 & "Finally" from stanza 4...the auxiliary (sp?) words already give the sense of time. I read the 1st stanza aloud to myself (and sleeping cat) and it is great. 9.2.
Re: Home by Dovina	3-May-05/2:29 PM
...P.P.S. beware accidental capitalization at line beginnings.
Re: Racism by Dovina	3-May-05/2:29 PM
Kind of confusing about "the six" and I think the possessive "tiger's" in line 1 doesn't work, however, I am attracted to the feeling of eyeing up the competition, and I want this to be longer.
Re: Actor by horus8	3-May-05/2:29 PM
Kill the 1st stanza (unfortunate words considering the theme) but your story which follows needs not such a intangible introduction. P.S. I've had 2 Tom Cruise dreams in the last year and does he realize his celebrity has encroached on Everyman's sleep space? weird!
Re: Spirit In a Temple by peaceseeker	10-May-05/12:45 AM
I like the way your words resonate, but, okay, really, I am totally confused. It seems so personal...so much so that most readers can't/won't be able to relate. Maybe the point? Liked it anyway. 8.2
Re: Finding Gin and Santa by richa	10-May-05/12:52 AM
I read this out loud to myself. I'm lovin' it.
Re: Dying breed by INTRANSIT	10-May-05/12:55 AM
I want shorter lines, a hyphenated "broken eared," love "docking ballets." Didn't quite get the jist, unfortunately. Give me some more meat. 8.4
regarding some deleted poem...	10-May-05/1:18 AM
Loving so much right now the 2nd stanza "yellow sodium" and later "tumbling/muffin" !!!!! 10!
regarding some deleted poem...	24-May-05/1:45 AM
Expound on the "saints" in line 9...maybe you already have...perhaps I crept ahead too quickly? Still compelling enough for a second read. 8.9
Re: Coffined by Dovina	26-May-05/9:40 PM
I'm refraining from reading other comments and offer a 9.1. Good for me, if only right now.
Re: Crossing the Mojave by INTRANSIT	26-May-05/9:41 PM
Firebirds and cold leather souls are enough to win me over. 9.3.
Re: Acrylic French Nails by Dovina	31-May-05/2:07 AM
A couple line-beginning capitalization typos, but who gives a crap? Liked it a bunch. 9
Re: Daytime TV by jessicazee	30-Jun-05/1:48 AM
Don't take this one too seriously. Just trying to make fun haiku.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Jul-05/11:04 PM
I think you could omit the line "where one can find" to make the produce speak for itself. The last four lines are throwaways, I'm sure you know that. Love it anyway, kind of how I see a glimmer of good in Charles Manson. Fascinating and brilliant, but just a hair from a Pulitzer. Expand more about the intro - it has a slightly menacing, tragic feel. Just the kind of feel I lie about to my friends in the morning. 8.7
Re: When the World Forgets by TLRufener	13-Jul-05/11:06 PM
The sentiment deserves more. And Kansas deserves credit for your "dust in the wind." However, I think your form and rhythm are smart. For whatever you take my opinion for.
Re: Happy Charlene by Dovina	13-Jul-05/11:11 PM
Tell me why the clouds are "sensuous" without the word "fluffy" (which conjures kittens and toilet tissue). Maybe this is a free-form ode to a friend, or you read my brother's 1985 diary when he had a Charlene Tilton obsession? Either way, I want to meet her. She sounds awesome.