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Acrylic French Nails (Free verse) by Dovina
Her glistening nails, long and thick, newly crafted— the French acrylic style, transparent finish over finger flesh, opaque on talon ends, where were the color ordinary would have trimmed in white or pink. Nothing I’d not want for mine, save cost and upkeep, (growth requiring fill, aging causing cracks) and yes, one other thing— her French nail ends were green. Still I complimented her sincerely then couldn’t figure why, except for shine and shape and for a rating of herself a person worth adorning. Thank you, she replied, I wanted to look different. Then an answer rose within in vindication of my praise, for I could not imagine one so bored with looking right she employs devices to be different.

Up the ladder: My heart belongs to you
Down the ladder: Lie

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Arithmetic Mean: 3.6666667
Weighted score: 4.8410625
Overall Rank: 10734
Posted: May 30, 2005 6:16 PM PDT; Last modified: June 10, 2005 10:44 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] deleted user @ 81.69.23.196 | 30-May-05/6:48 PM | Reply
Subtle sarcasm...the tone is quite elegant, which is only fitting.

I've had a few bashings over such subjects. Like, 'a woman should not poemise outward appearances or cosmetry hypes, let alone a man.'
Well. I've done poems about two actresses who are quite diametric in this view: Maggie Smith and Cher. Maybe I'll let you read them one day.
[n/a] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 > deleted user | 30-May-05/7:06 PM | Reply
I meant no sarcasm. Quite the opposite.
[7] deleted user @ 81.69.23.196 > Dovina | 30-May-05/7:17 PM | Reply
No sarcasm? Not even a tiny bit of mock?
[n/a] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 > deleted user | 30-May-05/7:23 PM | Reply
No mocking, really.
[9] jessicazee @ 152.163.100.135 | 31-May-05/2:07 AM | Reply
A couple line-beginning capitalization typos, but who gives a crap? Liked it a bunch. 9
[n/a] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 > jessicazee | 31-May-05/9:09 AM | Reply
Good call, thanks.
[7] zodiac @ 213.186.191.78 | 31-May-05/5:36 AM | Reply
I have to admit, it was a bit of a letdown getting to the end only to find the meaning was "she employs devices to look different". Well, I mean, duh. For one, everyone employs devices all the time to look different from how they'd look nude. For another thing, I imagine if she wanted to look different without employing devices, she'd have to (a) practice holding some really distinctive facial expression or posture all the time (which is a device when you get down to it) or (b) accept that she just looks different enough as she is, unless she's an identical twin or something (which we both know is kind of crap.) And would I be totally wrong if I guessed you really meant "she employs devices to look ugly or different from me"?
[4] deleted user @ 71.103.92.158 > zodiac | 10-Jun-05/3:54 PM | Reply
I employ devices to look as nude as possible without going to jail.

As for the poem, is this a made-up person? In my opinion it's presumptuous to think you know what a real person's inner motives might be. The language sounds stiff and convoluted, an apt analogy, perhaps, for the Lee snap on nails, but still I don't like it.
[7] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.100.67 | 31-May-05/7:16 AM | Reply
Maybe- My nails are green too. And a little brown. My garden is for everyone to enjoy.

Ok , too wordy maybe but I'm with Zodiac on the ending being a let down . You show us well with the deatiled nails and then tell us what you thought. You know better than that. Weed it, damnit.
[n/a] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 | 31-May-05/11:20 AM | Reply
Dear DoubleU, zodiac, Intransit, and rockmage,

Thank you for expressing disillusionment. All of you seem to think I must have meant something more than “She wanted to look different,” and for granting me that much respect, I thank you.

Imagine a woman who tries all her life to match the ethics and appearances her peers expect from her. She knows she is different and wants very much to be accepted. So she dons stylish clothes and adopts mannerisms, hoping to be perceived as cool. But despite her efforts, she finds herself always saying the odd thing or acting in some unacceptable way.

One day she meets a woman with green tips on her newly done nails. That’s odd, she thinks. Why would anyone deliberately do something odd? Then it dawns on her that this woman just naturally fits in and feels bored with the thing our woman spends her energies trying to gain.
[7] deleted user @ 81.69.23.196 > Dovina | 31-May-05/4:16 PM | Reply
<< Still I complemented her sincerely >>
For some reasons I missed this line. You are quite serious, I realise. And it's a quite odd poem.
[7] zodiac @ 212.118.19.179 > Dovina | 1-Jun-05/9:58 PM | Reply
Oh.

Just out of curiosity, why didn't you have this experience when you were, like, 10?
[n/a] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 > zodiac | 2-Jun-05/11:23 AM | Reply
Who knows.
[7] zodiac @ 212.118.19.179 > Dovina | 1-Jun-05/9:59 PM | Reply
PS-"complemented" is clever as it is, but are you sure you didn't mean "complimented"?
[n/a] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 > zodiac | 2-Jun-05/11:24 AM | Reply
I did not mean to complement her, but only to compliment her. It would have been clever worded differently. As it is – just a misspelling and a good call.
[7] Bankrupt_Word_Clerk @ 69.231.16.226 | 10-Jun-05/12:12 PM | Reply
"Where were the color ordinary" -- hard to say out loud.
[n/a] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 > Bankrupt_Word_Clerk | 10-Jun-05/12:28 PM | Reply
I don't find it so.
[7] deleted user @ 81.69.23.196 | 10-Jun-05/12:17 PM | Reply
Also, the French Style refers to nailS, and in the 2nd stanza, last line, you suddenly switch to singular...
[n/a] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 > deleted user | 10-Jun-05/12:22 PM | Reply
French nail ends is grammically consistant with French nails because both are plural. To say French nails ends is silly.
[7] deleted user @ 81.69.23.196 > Dovina | 10-Jun-05/12:26 PM | Reply
You are right, I was seeing it from the wrong angle, sorry
[7] deleted user @ 81.69.23.196 > deleted user | 10-Jun-05/12:27 PM | Reply
The problem is, I have difficulty in following your story... 8-)
[n/a] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 > deleted user | 10-Jun-05/12:30 PM | Reply
The same thing I was saying about yours. And I tried so hard, in this revision, to make it clear. :(
[7] deleted user @ 81.69.23.196 > Dovina | 10-Jun-05/1:19 PM | Reply
You're so lucky to know what you're writing about. My 'Popeye' is becoming weirder and weirder to me...seems I'm up for an urgent re-evaluation of my erotic ambitions
[7] deleted user @ 81.69.23.196 > deleted user | 10-Jun-05/1:23 PM | Reply
I now consider to give him French nails. Makes for better fishgutting too.
My, am I inventive.
[n/a] ALChemy @ 65.188.92.49 | 12-Jun-05/7:30 AM | Reply
I stumbled over the last three lines a little in verse 1 on my first reading. Maybe "It would be trimmed in"
would be easier but it won't kill me if you keep it the way it is. Try omitting the word style in verse 1 and see if it gives it a better flow. I really like the original idea of using the woman's nails to symbolize a unique lifestyle even if I was kinda hoping for a catfight at the end.
[n/a] Dovina @ 12.72.11.222 > ALChemy | 12-Jun-05/4:47 PM | Reply
Good suggestions. Thanks.
[n/a] Blue Magpie @ 212.205.251.69 | 12-Jun-05/11:09 PM | Reply
The first stanza, as a single sentence is grammatically incorrect (incomplete), and because of the 'where were the colour ordinary' bit, doesn't actually make any sense if try to actually understand what it means. From there it is pretty good, but the last three lines are also a bit ugly, they read like some non-native speakers use the language when they have learned all the words but not actually how they are normally used.
[n/a] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 > Blue Magpie | 13-Jun-05/3:13 PM | Reply
A comma after "ordinary" will hopefully ameliorate your first legitimate complaint. A comma after "right" may help with your second, but I doubt it. As a sentence, it might read: "I could not imagine one so bored with looking right, she employs devices
to be different."
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