poemranker ::Coffined by Dovina

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Free verse № 125535

Coffined

by Dovina

Member since 2004 · Posted 26 May 2005 · 11 comments

What good is a body coffined Or self-consumed As if the reaper sleeps? What good is legacy lost Or fund-lengthened lives For bullets’ sting? And why help For thanks returned More likely stabbed Sitting here Soul soured Before an empty tube Wine darkened In midnight verse Hard-faced to any need I ask what good that body is Complete, abolished No-breather, no-brainer

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mean 5.83 weighted 5.22 rank 4302 views 314 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

11 comments

[8] Dan garcia-Black 26-May-05/11:33 AM Reply
You are obviously a stranger to the joys of necrophilia.
[n/a] Dovina › Dan garcia-Black 26-May-05/1:42 PM Reply
Yes, and it’s not really about death, except as a consideration in deciding how to live.
[6] INTRANSIT 26-May-05/1:10 PM Reply
Sorry D, I was left in the dark on this one.

But I do need to ask if maybe Rockmage compensates for my mostly over generous votes, thereby giving the 'ranker SOME balance?
[n/a] Dovina › INTRANSIT 26-May-05/1:45 PM Reply
Giving every poem on poemranker the same vote, no matter what vote, affects nothing relatively.
[6] INTRANSIT › Dovina 26-May-05/6:53 PM Reply
Neither does poetry if you think about it.

"If a nation's literature declines,the nation atrophies and decays."
Ezra Pound from A-B-C of reading

Yes. Pound. Again.
[n/a] Dental Panic 26-May-05/2:33 PM Reply
It's a poem about sloth, I think. But there's to much poet in it. Lose the voice, show the scene.
[n/a] Dovina › Dental Panic 26-May-05/6:42 PM Reply
See comment below.
[7] deleted user 26-May-05/6:10 PM Reply
I wonder, is this really such a poem failure? It's intriguing and the language is quite rich. If this is about someone who is helping himself going down the drain, it's an original view.
Although I get the impression that it is not the body that is 'abolished', but the brain.

Damned those capitals again! Because do I read:
'I ask what good that body is,
complete (and) abolished'
or
'I ask what good that body is; complete
(but) abolished'?
[n/a] Dovina › deleted user 26-May-05/6:42 PM Reply
No, it is a failure as poem. Thanks for trying to interpret, but when four good poets fail to understand what I was talking about, it can only mean that I failed to be clear.

The body is complete because the life is complete. It is abolished because the life is gone, a no-breather because that leads to the punch word – no-brainrer – which has two meanings – a dead brain and a decision that requires little thought.
[7] deleted user › Dovina 26-May-05/6:46 PM Reply
Ah...
[brainless smilie]
[9] jessicazee 26-May-05/9:40 PM Reply
I'm refraining from reading other comments and offer a 9.1. Good for me, if only right now.