| Re: Put Down by SpiffyDoo |
28-Sep-02/3:39 PM |
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| Re: Suburban Horror by phbiscuit |
28-Sep-02/3:29 PM |
Where can I get some of that new dismal you've patented. This goes many different ways.Sickly truthful.
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| Re: Char by Amelia |
28-Sep-02/10:32 AM |
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Even better the second time around.
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| Re: Hunter's Moon by Rex Karrs |
28-Sep-02/10:16 AM |
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FRASS, Thanks for the vote of confidence.My inferiority complex got the better of me last night.Can't wait for sun6p! I'm trying to (hang). Maybe trying too hard. Another glitch. Time, time is on my side.......
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| Re: Hunter's Moon by Rex Karrs |
27-Sep-02/6:54 PM |
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Can't touch this...too good for my feeble mind.9
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| Re: storm by unknown |
27-Sep-02/6:49 PM |
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Simple. Powerful. Haiku.9
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| Re: Witch to Wicca by Lenore |
27-Sep-02/6:47 PM |
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I'm sorry I can't comment. Your level is above mine. Ienjoy reading your work though.
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| Re: I Wish by liljsmith87 |
27-Sep-02/6:34 PM |
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Not unheard of. Takes effort on both parts. Work on your descriptiveness. Good though.
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| Re: Unpleasant Morning by liljsmith87 |
27-Sep-02/6:25 PM |
Check this out!!! Find "Mother goose" at the library. You're looking for "a crooked sixpence"
It was my favorite when I was little.I'm 35 and still can repeat it from memory. That was fun.7
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| Re: Never get it right by Mutant_X |
27-Sep-02/6:20 PM |
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Both pieces need less telling and more showing. Recommendation: Find poetry that you like and read as much as you can. You'll develop a better feel for the written word.7
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| Re: Char by Amelia |
27-Sep-02/6:13 PM |
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Really neat idea!!!!! Makes my LONLY look like fecal matter.(which it is)
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| Re: Colony by <{Baba^Yaga}> |
27-Sep-02/5:57 PM |
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OUCH! But you are right.9
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| Re: The Good Old Days in New Orleans by cobalt |
27-Sep-02/5:14 PM |
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I was thinking more a long the lines of living people. Refrencing spirits or mood. Either way it works.9
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| Re: RunOnSentence by harrytuttle |
27-Sep-02/5:24 AM |
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Damn, forgot the "other" box. Sorry dude.
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| Re: Kelly Clarkson's Lament by bondjedi |
27-Sep-02/4:41 AM |
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I read your dossier, and looked at your previous work. You have an uncanny knack for this. You've done better. I think.
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| Re: Sadness by greym0on |
27-Sep-02/4:39 AM |
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Again, needs color (metaphores). Don't say "pain". Try "steamrolled by the pain". Things like that.
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| Re: City Streets by greym0on |
27-Sep-02/4:35 AM |
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More color. Has a "New Yorky" feeling to it. You're in the right place. Welcome.
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| Re: Skin by greym0on |
27-Sep-02/4:30 AM |
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Not bad,not bad. More drama.
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| Re: Up The Road Aways by harrytuttle |
27-Sep-02/4:28 AM |
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I yearn for simpler times too. Thanks for reminding me where my watch is.
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| Re: Nighttime Conversation by unknown |
27-Sep-02/4:26 AM |
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Got the point but it felt "flat"
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