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Sadness (Free verse) by greym0on
Sadness comes in shades of grey- and blue, swirled together into an indescribable... kind of like your eyes, but colder... Like the way they looked when I came over that night, and you tried to shut me out. I wake in the morning to that sickening realization- You're not in my life... Loss licks my cheek, scratchy, like the tongue of a cat- And I must find a way to move myself- Continue the day without your presence, without your voice, without your comfort. A penetrating cold sinks into me at night, when I wrap my arms around myself and try to fall asleep, The chill sinks deeply, but my eyes remain open- as memory upon memory hits me - of your smile and how much I laughed- Of your arms that held me so tightly, I thought we had melded... Of your kisses, and- the expanse of freckles along your shoulders. I have memorized you. This cold wraps around my heart. When weariness finally allows me to sleep, I'm haunted by your eyes, the color of sadness... and our last embrace as we clung to each other in loss, tears that soaked into your shirt... but mostly, your denial. These days are long now - the nights much longer. Lost in this hopeless hope, and grim acceptance, I can only pray for some salvation to shake the image of the pain that I had put upon your face, the loss that I have put into your life, and the haunting image of your eyes- the color of sadness.

Up the ladder: A Musical Dream
Down the ladder: A call to arms

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Weighted score: 5.0
Overall Rank: 7574
Posted: September 26, 2002 4:59 PM PDT; Last modified: September 26, 2002 4:59 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.188.228 | 27-Sep-02/4:39 AM | Reply
Again, needs color (metaphores). Don't say "pain". Try "steamrolled by the pain". Things like that.
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