| Re: a comment on Flicking by INTRANSIT |
21-Jun-05/12:53 PM |
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Well, the good thing is in this poem -chicanes- sonds almost like wind but I think it may be my own ignorance that has done me in this time. I thought they were a series of curves tight and many. I might be wron in which case, I have failed miserably. Sokay. i got a better one brewing. Oh well.
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| Re: A Message from my Dreams by Joshua_Tree |
20-Jun-05/4:30 PM |
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5and 11 are the pimpleyest. If you can fix those it's kosher with me.
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| Re: a comment on A Message from my Dreams by Joshua_Tree |
20-Jun-05/4:28 PM |
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But it can also lead to some really awesome and interesting rhymes if given enough rein.
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| Re: Kiss Me by smiffy84 |
18-Jun-05/3:25 PM |
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Sounds like an over excited guinea pig humping its food bowl.
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| Re: the ten two eight tide by Mr Pig |
18-Jun-05/10:24 AM |
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Howarya pig? This has such a great underlying rhythm that I think it should be turned up just a notch. Give it a form I think it'll be fine.
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| Re: on my hog by nentwined |
8-Jun-05/6:51 AM |
To be overly technical:
Three chambered kabooms? Harleys have two cylinders unless the sound is the 3 syllabled Po-ta-to sound . Yes, the approach is confusing. Maybe you don't need one. I'm just haranguessing you. I should talk, I ride a 95 Nighthawk which makes no such audible safety noises.
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| Re: The world's shortest poem by ALChemy |
4-Jun-05/8:34 AM |
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By Grapthars' Hammer.....I don't know.
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| Re: Vote Goats by ALChemy |
4-Jun-05/8:32 AM |
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Unforunately, we've already been here. Save your breath for your writing.
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| Re: Carte Blanche by ALChemy |
4-Jun-05/8:31 AM |
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Love this. My -Bookends- may interest you.
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| Re: A Fool's Errand by ALChemy |
4-Jun-05/8:29 AM |
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bleed their wrists seems cliche. the rest is true.
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| Re: lawngazing by skaskowski |
4-Jun-05/6:42 AM |
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I saw the broken bottles and mirror as stars. So I went down the romance path and then the skull stopped my treading.
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| Re: Adibe's Song (third-time's-the-charm revision, less Spanish) by zodiac |
4-Jun-05/6:39 AM |
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| Re: a comment on Adibe's Song (third-time's-the-charm revision, less Spanish) by zodiac |
4-Jun-05/6:39 AM |
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Actually it is. I trust those with writing experience to know what needs to be done to bring a poem in line, then let the 'ranker knock the burrs off. No, not shamefully unless this is all ten times condensed. Go for it. Wring out the other nine chapters. Size doesn't matter to me in poetry.
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| Re: a comment on Swoon by Dovina |
3-Jun-05/12:41 PM |
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1 I disagree. And no, but I should be. 2 Ok. 3 Ok.
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| Re: a comment on Wanted by Dovina |
3-Jun-05/12:35 PM |
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That just happened to be a by-product. Not intentional.
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| Re: a comment on Soldier by kev_wannabe |
3-Jun-05/11:23 AM |
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Wha? It's not my poem. Yes America has a sullied past of treating its veterans poorly though I think we've corrected that. What we need to stop doing is sending them away in the first place.
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| Re: a comment on Swoon by Dovina |
3-Jun-05/11:19 AM |
To reply to the individual items.
#1 You didn'g say "he turns them outward" It sounds like his thumbs are outward.
#2 Breasts as in chests, Your being? Or re-referring to the domes' shape?
#3Irish roman? Or am I unnecessarily crossing wires here?
#4 and 5. Ok.
Maybe I'm REALLY thick. still better off for the dialogue though, thanks.
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| Re: a comment on Wanted by Dovina |
3-Jun-05/11:06 AM |
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Um, no,heh. I just wanted to point it out. I wasn't rying to relate it to this piece. Please tell me you wander the back rooms of p/r too.
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| Re: a comment on Wanted by Dovina |
3-Jun-05/7:45 AM |
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| Re: Wanted by Dovina |
3-Jun-05/7:35 AM |
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Done. and I found something while roaming the ranker halls. Let me get the address....
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