poemranker ::lawngazing by skaskowski

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Free verse № 126181

lawngazing

by skaskowski

Member since 2001 · Posted 3 Jun 2005 · 6 comments

shake me out, i'm a blanket full of broken glass and you need to be warm, and i need to be wrapped round your shoulders to feel safe and secure myself. so shake me free of the busted bottles and mirror, lay me out before you sit down on the grass, it's too wet this time of year, and i need to soak up all of that dew to feel like i belong next to you so lay me out so flat my teeth jut into the soil. bore holes into me if you get thirsty, the well is just a drill away. use my skull as a bucket if you must, relief is just a dip away.

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mean 6.00 weighted 5.12 rank 5679 views 243 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

6 comments

[6] deleted user 4-Jun-05/4:22 AM Reply
Good last stanza
[7] INTRANSIT 4-Jun-05/6:42 AM Reply
I saw the broken bottles and mirror as stars. So I went down the romance path and then the skull stopped my treading.
[9] zodiac 4-Jun-05/6:50 AM Reply
How were the bottles busted on a blanket? Not that it matters, I'm just curious.
[n/a] skaskowski › zodiac 9-Jun-05/7:54 PM Reply
i drink too much sometimes
[9] zodiac › skaskowski 11-Jun-05/12:22 AM Reply
No I mean: physically, how were the bottles broken by the blanket? I'd be saying the same thing if the blanket were full of bludgeoned kittens.
[8] Dovina 9-Jun-05/8:03 PM Reply
The first verse is perfect.

Second verse can be taken so many ways thet I wish it were more directed.

Third verse is good, but when I try to relate it to the first, I come up wanting.

Overall, I like this kind of poem.