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Soldier (Free verse) by kev_wannabe Soldiers
They sacrifice their life,
To protect us
Whether they die, or keep their lives,
They save the nation from any harm,
From the city to the farms,
They protect all.
They rescue others,
Fight for others,
Not for fame or fortune,
But for dignity.
They protect all nations,
With its congregations.
Brave, strong,
fierce, kind
Whether men,
or women,
all in the hopes of peace.
With great courage and hope,
They fight for our lives,
Though they struggle sometimes,
and some live some die,
They would always try,
To fight the evil that lurks this place,
To stop the unpeacefulness,
They all try.
In the end, a good ending or bad,
it is still a successful journey,
that is, if you made it out alive.
Up the ladder:
Dear flatulance (dear lord)
Down the ladder:
Betrayed
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 2.5
Posted: June 2, 2005 9:54 PM PDT; Last modified: June 2, 2005 9:54 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.3276463 Overall Rank: 13100 Comments:
Trite.
I find this dull. You can do betta.
dull?? ok... well theres nothing much bout soldiers...cept fighting wars....rescueing others...so...ya..
y not u write one...lyk u can do ne betta^^
I think this poem is good^^ i lyk the way u gave them personalities
You mean "evil that lurks (in) this place"?
Unpeacefulness? I'm all in for inventing words but this is too direct a poem for taking such liberties. I like the no BS approach though.
Maybe you should submit this to congress so Bush'll give you an oil dipped bag of dates as a token of his appreciation.
Quaint. You probably have a yellow ribbon on your S.U.V. that says "I Support Our Troops." Bravo. Now run along Billy.
Comparing to 'Bunnie Crazy In Love' this one kinda suck...no offense, but I find this poem uninteresting and lacks interests. You should try to spice it up a little. This masterpiece shows that sometimes great poets can write unpowerful poems too. But, good try!
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A soldier is always a hero who did 'the right thing', as long as he doesn't start messing up the pretty warpictures by returning mutilated or bothering the homeland with incurable war trauma's. America has not been very kind to his sick Vietnam & Gulf veterans; branding them cowards.
Maybe with your last lines you tried to give it a cynical twist, but you did not succeed.