Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

the ten two eight tide (Free verse) by Mr Pig
Tide left a graveyard of whispers, through mouths of shells she called haunting ribs of dunes upon once we stopped time by rolling on its golden bones till joined like midnight hands. I awoke alone to a black tide. Its limbs spewed times hands. Her watch had stopped at ten to eight as I was sleeping she drowned surfacing again through my eyes finding my lips again as she fell, leaving salt on open wounds. Now I return at ten to eight to throw her watch to the sea, and curl upon our mesquite dune crying into midnight hands but knowing she returns as the tide draws close to me.

Up the ladder: Partying Blind
Down the ladder: Generosity Is A Funny Thing

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 02
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Weighted score: 5.119203
Overall Rank: 5706
Posted: June 18, 2005 10:17 AM PDT; Last modified: June 18, 2005 10:17 AM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[8] INTRANSIT @ 204.110.227.157 | 18-Jun-05/10:24 AM | Reply
Howarya pig? This has such a great underlying rhythm that I think it should be turned up just a notch. Give it a form I think it'll be fine.
[n/a] Mr Pig @ 213.122.71.246 > INTRANSIT | 18-Jun-05/10:29 AM | Reply
Bless you my lad one thought it lacked a slight va va voom but I'm so tired from these blasted painkillers for my hernia that i simply havent the gusto for poetic feats.
207 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001