on It's True by jessicazee
1 May 2004, 7:55 AM
On a humorical note, it's funny. The earnestness however, suggests a health issue. I'm confused.
on some deleted poem
2 May 2004, 3:56 PM
Oh no I've gone cross-eyed!!!!
on the beale street mud festival. by wilco
2 May 2004, 5:29 PM
(Journey) Ha! What beautiful irony.
on Loss by <{Baba^Yaga}>
2 May 2004, 5:35 PM
You swim so fluidly through the murky waters of your past. My past, not so murky, not clear either.
on some deleted poem
3 May 2004, 5:44 PM
Something must be hideously wrong here. Too much space?
Too slow? The bouncing bird? The (Carte)? Why won't you fly?
Too slow? The bouncing bird? The (Carte)? Why won't you fly?
on Natural Remedy by richa
3 May 2004, 5:47 PM
"grow tall and tall..." maybe. It's a Whitman thing. I dunno. I like it as is. I tend to overlook burned leaves if the root is strong.
on some deleted poem
4 May 2004, 5:30 AM
Not to mention the Gods' wife factor.
on The Influence of Anxiety by Nicholas Jones
4 May 2004, 6:52 AM
I'll get back to you. In a hunnert or so years.
Poem or not, it is a vehicle to get from your last writ to your next. Most important.
Bloomsday? Hmmmm..
Poem or not, it is a vehicle to get from your last writ to your next. Most important.
Bloomsday? Hmmmm..
on Vodka kisses & the final sigh. by SupremeDreamer
4 May 2004, 2:30 PM
Yes. Small nits. Stogies-dump'em. Cigar even works better. Lose (quite) add comma.
The bloody morning-suggesting a bloody mary, excellent.
Over all 01.
The bloody morning-suggesting a bloody mary, excellent.
Over all 01.
on some deleted poem
4 May 2004, 5:43 PM
You have done something I have been unable to do without "going off" for some time.
Most, not all, but most automobile motorists are:
A: Not focused/ distracted by other thoughts besides what they are immediately doing (driving)/(your poem)
B: Drive at speeds exceeding their skill level.
Anyone can drive at one hundred under a clear sky with no other obstacles.
C: Drive too fast for most conditions. Even a clear day has hazards or can change.
D: Follow too close.
However!!
I am NOT saying truck drivers are perfect. They are far from it. They do have more focus. And that's a biggie.
See what I mean about going off? Just the tip of the iceberg.
Whew! Hand me that paper bag over there, would you?
Thanks.
Most, not all, but most automobile motorists are:
A: Not focused/ distracted by other thoughts besides what they are immediately doing (driving)/(your poem)
B: Drive at speeds exceeding their skill level.
Anyone can drive at one hundred under a clear sky with no other obstacles.
C: Drive too fast for most conditions. Even a clear day has hazards or can change.
D: Follow too close.
However!!
I am NOT saying truck drivers are perfect. They are far from it. They do have more focus. And that's a biggie.
See what I mean about going off? Just the tip of the iceberg.
Whew! Hand me that paper bag over there, would you?
Thanks.
on Working at the Garden Market by jessicazee
4 May 2004, 5:45 PM
impatiens?
on When she beats me by Win
5 May 2004, 1:59 PM
needs a bit of a hint as to what woman we are dealing with here. mom? sis? girlfriend? other? It is worthy of the effort.
on The Towel Head Blues by horus8
5 May 2004, 2:19 PM
I thought it said Eric fucking Stoli....oooopsie.
on Beard my Homemade Negro Jesus (Improved! With AIDS!) by Everyone
5 May 2004, 2:28 PM
I kept one 'cos I'm broke.
on some deleted poem
5 May 2004, 2:52 PM
Out of my jurisdiction. Just.
on some deleted poem
6 May 2004, 6:31 AM
Actually there is a fair amount assonance here. Jam packed with stuff here. Excellent, sir.
on Beard my Homemade Negro Jesus (Improved! With AIDS!) by Everyone
6 May 2004, 7:01 AM
3 for length. 3 for humour. 2 for Max Headroom. 2 for Woostuh. -2 for the off beat stanzas. 1 for nuttyness.
One more comma couldn't hurt.