Comments byINTRANSIT, 621–640 back. Include replies

on As You Are by MacFrantic 12 May 2004, 1:24 PM
Whitman-esque, painful, honest. very good.

Unfinished.

Take your last three lines, extend the first two and use the last as the closer of the second. I'm sure you're exhausted. Catch your breath, spool up, and go.
holding vote.
on Dial Tone by cuddlytiger17 12 May 2004, 6:05 PM
Suggestion:

Listening to the phone's monotone.
on FINGER PIE by titan69 13 May 2004, 6:42 AM
(A women)?
on A Year Later (edited a bit) by Sasha 13 May 2004, 6:49 PM
Maryland? So close to the capital, too.

My condolences.

Quality vill though.
on Random by <{Baba^Yaga}> 13 May 2004, 7:01 PM
For accuracy, 10. For myself,0
s-6 L-1 hiccup. Nicely done.
on some deleted poem 14 May 2004, 5:56 AM
Since Sasha has a Villanelle up, I would recommend trying to reform this into one. Play with it. I like the content, but I think you could lose the (zen).
I'M GOING TO THROW YOU A LIFE PRESERVER!!! PUT IT ON!!!

Buy a copy of : Poetry for dummies. No, I'm not kidding. and some poetry to read. rummage through the section at the library for something you like. read. practice. Then rewrite this and do your Valiant husband the justice he deserves. Because, while heartfelt, this is not poetry. Most 'rankers will write 10 pieces, only one of which will be worth rewriting or posting. Get used to it. It's work.
on Diane Keaton's Tits by JoyLuck 14 May 2004, 6:16 AM
Wow. I guess there really isn't enough room for I have a fat back. I thought bins were bigger. hmmm.
on some deleted poem 5 Jun 2004, 11:47 AM
Nice to see you again, lady.
on Bashing through the woods by INTRANSIT 14 May 2004, 10:53 AM
This is profiling. And profiling is wrong.
on some deleted poem 14 May 2004, 7:49 PM
This has holes that I can't seem to get across. sorry.
on In the Land of Bob by Bobjim 14 May 2004, 7:56 PM
Congratulations. You went for poetry, and got humor. I went for humor, and wound up glancing off an udder into the far reaches of the galaxy. Cows happen.
on some deleted poem 14 May 2004, 8:02 PM
Why you little.....
Making me scroll all the way down here just to read the comments! No you do not get on the worst list with this!!!
on good bye. by nentwined 16 May 2004, 5:21 AM
sum none. that's not pimple speak. This is really good.
on Weened by Jeremi B. Handrinos 16 May 2004, 5:23 AM
Freaky when something doesn't get any comments. I think it's fine. Quite good actually.
on Tripping Through A Paper Square by Shardik 16 May 2004, 5:25 AM
more hyphens! smash the molds!!
on Oomphless by shwenatjadeflower 16 May 2004, 6:31 PM
Drop the last line.
on some deleted poem 16 May 2004, 6:39 PM
Here I am. Lagging behind as usual.
on Solipsistic, Drunk, But Still Friends by horus8 5 Jun 2004, 11:38 AM
You chose not to capitalize (howl). Interesting.

I think I need some Poundage myself.