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In the Land of Bob (Free verse) by Bobjim
Monday in the Land of Bob, And the earth has split asunder. Destruction’s nephew Ruination, Has come to laugh and play. Yet now there’s none to joke with him, Since the castles flew away. Hence the cracking and the thunder, But tomorrow’s another day. Tuesday in the Land of Bob, And the skies with aliens fill. For these are the minions of Famine, Come to starve us of crazy golf. But this verse could be a problem, As my only rhyme is Rolf, And none could pass the spinning ‘mill, So they all went home to Venus. Wednesday in the Land of Bob, And a plague spreads o’er the land. Pestilence has come for you, With the pox of Hokey-Mins. It bringeth boils and syphilis, And sometimes causes growth of fins. The mad will shoot elastic bands, Whilst others never cease to spin. Thursday in the Land of Bob, And evil roams the glen. For Death has risen from the grave, To wreak the vengeance that’s his whim. He’s brought the Hollow Chocolate Bunnies, Of the Apocalypse with him, To thieve the lives of mice and men, To bring about an age of sin. Friday in the Land of Bob, And it’s Friday I’m in love. So cease this fool destruction, Before you wreck my favourite pub. We can’t spoil the world just yet you see, And since my name is Bob, I think you’ll find this world is mine, And it’ll last as long as I want.

Up the ladder: Night High
Down the ladder: Insomnia

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Arithmetic Mean: 8.3
Weighted score: 6.65
Overall Rank: 564
Posted: April 29, 2004 7:36 AM PDT; Last modified: May 14, 2004 10:39 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] sliver @ 63.190.65.44 | 14-May-04/11:37 AM | Reply
Where's Saturday and Sunday?
lost in the mind of Bob?
[n/a] Bobjim @ 81.131.223.2 > sliver | 14-May-04/11:48 AM | Reply
You don't know your scripture do you.
"And the great Lord Bob smiled down benevolently at his creations and said 'Many will tell you that the world was created in six days and that God rested on the seventh, yet this is not so. I created this world in five days and in as many shall it be destroyed. On the first four days the four horsemen (who will be correctly chronicled) shall rain destruction and fear and on the fifth, I myself shall descend to the world and either save the world or destroy it as I fit. The beginning of the end I promise to be on a Monday, as this is the day more dreaded than any other. I choose Monday also because I thus guarantee that my weekend will not be ruined by a host of the Heavens that requires guidance or reining in."

As you can see, this shows that Bob has thought of everything and that the weekend has not been forgotten.
[n/a] Bobjim @ 81.131.223.2 > Bobjim | 14-May-04/11:52 AM | Reply
By the way, this section of holy scripture is taken from "The Boble", In The Beginning 2:1. This holy text will be available when I get around to writing it.
[n/a] large_geese @ 217.44.102.122 | 14-May-04/11:59 AM | Reply
I'm not sure where from but the word plagiarism rings a bell; for something which is more serious than a made up poem.
[n/a] Bobjim @ 81.131.223.2 > large_geese | 14-May-04/12:08 PM | Reply
Your new so I'll excuse you this time, if you want to join in with a message string, use the link in the bottom right corner of the comment box marked "reply"

Also, that was all my own, completely original. Ideas were not taken from any other book, let alone a religious text.

Honest.
[9] Shuushin @ 147.154.235.51 | 14-May-04/2:02 PM | Reply
liking the title.
[9] INTRANSIT @ 205.188.116.68 | 14-May-04/7:56 PM | Reply
Congratulations. You went for poetry, and got humor. I went for humor, and wound up glancing off an udder into the far reaches of the galaxy. Cows happen.
[n/a] Bobjim @ 213.122.72.174 > INTRANSIT | 15-May-04/6:33 AM | Reply
Actually, I went for humour and got poetry. By the way, cows do not just "happen". The Boble later states that many animals, cows included, are spontaneously created by the will of Bob. The usual cause is that He gets bored.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 > Bobjim | 15-May-04/8:01 AM | Reply
That's so funny! I bet you could write a great Red Dwarf fanfiction with your zany brand of humour!
Or perhaps a wacky Terry Pratchett newsletter!
[n/a] Bobjim @ 213.122.40.89 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 15-May-04/11:44 AM | Reply
I'll take your word for it, I've never read anything by Terry Pratchett.
[n/a] zodiac @ 67.240.155.252 > Bobjim | 15-May-04/12:07 PM | Reply
Take a gander at http://tinyurl.com/2bwgx
[n/a] Bobjim @ 213.122.40.89 > zodiac | 15-May-04/12:11 PM | Reply
I'm the kind of person to ask what sex the turtle was.

By the way, what sex are the elephants too?
[n/a] RGSsparky @ 128.243.220.21 | 8-Nov-04/4:47 PM | Reply
I love how this turned out. Physics put to good use :D Made me laugh, esp the end bit. Hurrar.
The Sparky
[10] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 | 15-Feb-06/6:53 AM | Reply
I'm converted
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