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Married (Free verse) by INTRANSIT Do not build your spouse,
for they came to you already assembled.
Instead
tether them, and fly them like a kite.
Up the ladder:
Thin Blood
Down the ladder:
Jackanapes and smoke buttons
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.25
Posted: September 23, 2002 3:44 PM PDT; Last modified: September 23, 2002 3:44 PM PDTWeighted score: 6.6448817 Overall Rank: 560 Comments:
[10]
god'swife @ 209.178.177.240
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23-Sep-02/5:46 PM
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Reply
I love your poem.
[n/a]
INTRANSIT @ 152.163.189.171
> god'swife
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23-Sep-02/6:51 PM
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Reply
Yeah, I'm a sucker for simplicity, and romance. I guess we cant help who we are, right?
this sucks. I am a sucker for depth, meaning.... and love. Did i mention Love?
However, i will give you points for your creativity in ability to express what you are striving to say... similarities, not differences.
OUCH! I thought it had plenty of depth. Was I too vague maybe?
'Course I can't please every one. Thanks for the input:)
i think the word 'tether' took it out of the realm of romance and deep love and into a more property-oriented schemata. which doesn't make sense with the kite-flying analogy. so, all in all, a thought-provoking poem.
OK I think you hit the mark. Maybe I should have said "tether with love". Yes? No? Throw it out the dou?
no tethering at all. let your lives be as two circles which gently touch.
both fly free, and come together freely, bring something new each time.
Good point.
No, tethered...many, many tethers. Some invisible to others and seen only by two.
glad i'm not tethered to you
These are truly the words of emotion expressed in "flow" with serene acceptance. Good job.
Not sure about the tether either ( try saying that is sounds funny !), otherwise simply great-8
Keep the tether - like it or not, it's part of the deal.
Tether is real. All else is idealism. Plus it brings the visual of holding on and and helping them, even if it means fighting the prevailing winds. Also it is love that keeps me tethered. Otherwise I'd have drifted out into the stratosphere years ago, or worse yet, gotten stuck in a tree. So you're leaving truck-driving? I hope it works out well for you.
Thanks, you really felt this the way I did! Exactly, in fact. Ido see what they mean with the tether thing, but I cant bring myself to morph it. I'm afraid it will lose its (panache)?
Superb
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