Re: What bianca saw!!! by titan69	19-Nov-07/7:48 PM
argh! get the sylable count right - if you are going to write in limerick, find the rhythm... snaps for the ranker/wanker rhyme
Re: What the fuck is a HAIKU anyway? by titan69	19-Nov-07/7:51 PM
drop the yoda instructions - add 'a' between writes and load... you definately have a way with....titles...
Re: Bottle collection by INTRANSIT	22-Nov-07/1:05 PM
I've just finished a book where the husband was a bottle collector - he had loads of them, proudly displayed and affectionately restored...at the end of the book the wife smashed every one of them. Not that this has anything to do with your poem, apart from coincidence to me... This poem is perfect in it's quiet way, love it.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Nov-07/1:14 PM
LOL...sibling rivalry
Re: Again with the venting by hobojo	26-Nov-07/5:28 PM
I do love a good vent/rant...whether at a person or an ideal stage we strive to achieve... and I do like this there are a few places I would tighten up a little, give more oomph to the structure. for instance... I used to think life would make sense - one day all my efforts would pay off and all my terror - end and I'd coast for a little while I thought, if I kept fighting kept holding on I would make it that I would leave it all behind
Re: Heroes to the End by sliver	26-Nov-07/5:40 PM
line 4 - vowed to see its' end, and took vows to see its' end, and vowed to see it's end..'it' and 'it's' is a little too much line 5 - drop the red, blood holds the colour you need Very poignant :)
Re: The Dung Beetles by Pappa	26-Nov-07/5:45 PM
this is too complicated for me - the structure I can't even begin to appreciate, but the lesson in nature could do with something...not sure what that could be but the last line seems text bookish, rather than poetic... can you show me where i might find other Englyn?
Re: Stringed by thetrev	26-Nov-07/5:49 PM
OH! this is weird, I like what each line and verse is saying but find the overall connection escaping me.
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Nov-07/5:56 PM
Agree with INTRANSIT...the first half needs trimming and shorter lines, defining breaks with lines rather than commas. I don't enjoy too many directions when I read, so it could just be me. :)
Re: Trapped in a horseshoe by INTRANSIT	26-Nov-07/6:10 PM
Nicely portrayed - the one-way relationship, never to be relayed any other way.
Re: Easter Egg Hunt by Dovina	29-Nov-07/3:32 AM
I wish I could understand this, but the language is out of my reach. :(
Re: who wansa do that? by malpaso	28-Dec-07/11:44 PM
As much as I enjoy the short poem, due to lack of true inteligence...I can't seem to get a handle on this one. There's no oomph or moment of clarity, or nod, or small smile, or any of the things that brings instant understanding of what your saying, that should come with shorter writes. "You wanna go do somethin'?" sighs "Nah" - boredom, apathy...a statement, but is it poetry? hmmm?
Re: in this bus terminal of the future by nentwined	6-Jul-08/4:44 AM
I like that..change without true progress... the word inevitable jars a little with me, not sure why
Re: A rock by nisim2	6-Jul-08/4:47 AM
quite riddling - I want to find the trick inside the writing and answer it.
Re: sperladnik: the sequel by malpaso	6-Jul-08/4:50 AM
made me giggle a little awkwardly, not quite getting the hang of it ;)
Re: tree in a flood by Skamper	18-Feb-11/2:51 PM
too quick and too flabby, hmmm something to ponder over. Thanks guys
Re: Late Song by nypoet22	18-Feb-11/2:57 PM
Whenever I pine for you to be mine I remember what my father used to say You can have anything you want but you cant have everything you want at the same time If this is what you want you can't have me there's probably one too many wants...if this is what you need you can't have me and pine, really?
Re: Mornings by alvinb	18-Feb-11/3:09 PM
oh dear...what do you think is for you proper? Sounds like you think you deserve something better, we have only what we create and if your creation is words, make them come alive.
Re: Self-Inflicted Wounds by wilco	18-Feb-11/3:13 PM
at least your just rusty, I, on the other hand am flabby...takes a bit of getting back into it huh?
Re: Max's Poems by nentwined	9-Jun-12/4:46 AM
wtf....moronic